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What On Earth Does This 'Mysterious' Blue Hole On The Ocean Floor Mean?

Fuck the ocean. The ocean skates by most of the time without anyone talking about how terrifying it is; which is bullshit. That shit takes up 70% of our planet, most of it is untouched by humans (95% of the ocean floor is unexplored per google). It's got all sorts of weird animals with fucking light growing out of their heads - it's just not for me. There could literally be a whole fucking civilization of weirdo fish people down there and we wouldn't have the slightest clue until they venture up one day and skullfuck us all into oblivion. So yeah, the ocean can go fuck itself.


Scientists are flocking to Florida’s Gulf Coast for a glimpse of a mysterious 425-feet-deep "blue hole" on the ocean floor.

The glowing mystery hole, about 155 feet below the water’s surface, is similar to the sinkholes seen on solid land, according to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.

Of course, this shit is near Florida. Florida is just having a tough go of things right now, huh?


Fuuuuuuck this though. Blue holes?? I'm certainly no scientist but a big blue hole just showing up in the ocean doesn't sound great. It actually sounds awfully close to a black hole, you know, the thing that just kind of swallows anything and everything possible. Again, I'm not too sure of the deadliness of this blue hole but would you be surprised if it just sucked up Florida like it was some goddamn spaghetti? No, no you would not be surprised.

Surprisingly, the first report of blue holes came from fishermen and recreational divers, not scientists or researchers. In general, the holes appear to host diverse biological communities full of marine life, including corals, sponges, mollusks, sea turtles and sharks.

This seems very convenient, no? Like obviously there are gonna be animals in the hole, it's the fucking ocean bro. Those turtles don't know any better. They just swam and ended up in the hole. Especially if it's fucking 425 feet deep. Do you expect animals to not swim in there? Hell, even though I've been called "a big ole pussy" by peers on several occasions, I'd probably swim in there as well. Curiosity killed the cat so to speak. 

Imagine being one of the guys to spot this random ass hole in the ocean. Poor humans must've thought that someone pulled the drain on the earth's bathtub. Never have you seen anyone leave the water quicker. Probably sent out multiple messages to loved ones, as anyone would've. Still, just going out to enjoy a nice fishing trip and seeing this shit would send me into cardiac arrest. I'd think the world is ending. But I'm also a 20-year-old (yes, the rumors are true. it is my birthday) with doo-doo brains that doesn't know anything about the ocean.

We just have to hope that this thing isn't serious. All these science guys are making it seem not that serious so I think we trust them? Who knows though, this could just be some portal for the aliens to finally show up and turn 2020 into a real party. It's either that or we just get sucked into the ocean and disappear forever. Personally, I'd prefer the aliens but hey, beggars can't be choosers.