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I Have A Feeling Drive-Thru Strip Clubs Will Remain A Thing Long After The Pandemic Is Over

Strip Club Offers Drive Thru Dances During Coronavirus Pandemic Steve Dykes. Getty Images.

 

To quote noted American singer/songwriter Jake Paul, "the times, they are a-changin". Back in the early days of fast food, the drive-thru wasn't a thing. You had to get out of your car to get your meal like a damn peasant. 

At the very same time, if you wanted to see a naked lady, you couldn't just log onto the world wide web. Nay, you had to go to dark basements and back rooms and hope you didn't see your neighbor Larry there as well. 

Now though? 

Now they have combined the luxury of the drive-thru and the ease of seeing nekid ladies into a one stop shop not seen since Fantasy Labs. Introducing, the drive-thru strip club.

 

CHRON - If you're a fan of exotic dancers and eating in your car then Vivid Gentleman's Club is probably your kind of pandemic paradise. The struggling Houston-based strip club now has a drive-thru.

Yup, it’s Burger King, only there’s dancing involved.

Black metal barricades separate the dancers from the cars, and dollar bills litter the asphalt between the white siding of the tent walls. The purplish-blue lighting casts a familiar (to club-goers) ambience over the scene, but obvious reminders of the pandemic remain; some of the performers are in face masks.

In an effort dedicated to supporting their staff, Vivid Gentlemen’s Club decided to take their shot at the drive-thru experience by becoming Texas’ first drive-thru strip club.

Right now, Vivid is the only strip club in Texas offering a drive-thru. All other strip clubs either have staff furloughed or are simply not able to offer contracts to the entertainers.

 

We've read stories of this concept before, but never in this way. You see, before it was just strippers dancing while you glared out your car window like you were looking at Christmas lights, "ooooh'ing" and "ahhhh'ing" at the tits when one particular pair met your fancy. But this Texas strip club has taken it one step further- offering food to go and the dancers perform while you wait for it. And not just any food, nay, "There is an “authentic Italian” pizza that is “handmade in Italy,” according to the menu.". I told you it was a one stop shop! 

And I have a feeling this sort of establishment is here for the long haul. A strip club on a time constraint. Picture this: You're driving home from a late sales call that you absolutely blew. Your wife is having wine night with her annoying friends and they are on hour 2 of talking about some Bravo show that literally makes your brain melt out of your ears. You text your wife "great news honey, made the sale, boss is taking us out for drinks!". She ignores you because she's texting Derrick the mailman about the package he delivered today. So you roll up to the drive thru strip club, order a double whiskey diet coke and some jalapeno poppers, and drift through the drive thru in a daze, wondering how many more days you can live like this before you...ahem sorry, what were we talking about? Oh yeah. I think this is a good idea and will be around after COVID. Phew. End blog.