The concept of a person faking their own death has always been intriguing to me. If presented with an appropriate opportunity to do so, I'm faking my death faster than you can mumble "Tupac Shakur" out of your mouth.
I like my current life, but that's not the point. Faking your own death opens up a whole world of possibilities. That and my brain just automatically associates faking your own death with posting up on a tropical island somewhere, sipping margaritas until the day I finally croak. Also, the thought of leaving all your responsibilities in your past life is too good to pass up. Hence why I'd be "game" (as the kids say) to fake my death. You'd get a clean slate to do whatever the fuck you wanted.
It's all fun and games until you get caught living a double life though (s/o Bartolo Colon and his multiple families).
NEW YORK (AP) — A Long Island criminal defendant tried faking his death to avoid a jail sentence, but the phony death certificate his lawyer submitted had a glaring spelling error that made it a dead giveaway for a fraud, prosecutors said Tuesday.
Robert Berger, 25, of Huntington, New York, now faces up to four years in prison if convicted in the alleged scheme. That’s in addition to pending sentences for earlier guilty pleas to charges of possession of a stolen Lexus and attempted grand larceny of a truck — punishment prosecutors say he was looking to avoid.
Ya see, faking your own death to get out of jail is the perfect scenario. You fake your death, the charges "die" with you so to speak - or that's at least how you'd have to imagine it works, kinda bullshit otherwise imo.
It's just tough when you go through all the hard work of - ya know - faking your own death only to get done in by a spelling error. Registry not regsitry.
A common error, I suppose.
It's pretty baffling how someone could be smart enough to know how to make/acquire a fake death certificate but not smart enough to double-check for errors. Think about how much this faux certificate must've cost too. Far too much money for the asshole making the fakes to be misspelling something on that's on a 12-year-old's vocabulary homework. It's almost like getting a fucked up fake ID when you're 18 but on a much larger, arguably worse scale. This man's whole sentence is about to be spent writing down registry on a whiteboard a la Bart Simpson.
Kudos to whoever looked at this piece of paper with a fine-tooth comb and found the spelling error. Any other Joe Schmo would've just gotten the death certificate and called it a day. That guy is dead. No other way around it.
“It will never cease to amaze me the lengths some people will go to to avoid being held accountable on criminal charges,” Nassau County District Attorney Madeline Singas said in a telephone interview.
Uhhhh, really? That surprises you, Madeline? Obviously you're gonna do anything you can to not go to jail. Why do you think so many people lie/deceive in the courtrooms? Almost exclusively so that they don't go to fucking jail! Everyone's a tough guy until they're confined to a small cell. Hence why I prefer to be on the outside. So I can puff my chest out with little to no ramifications.
It's not like people are out wanting to fake their own death. It's literally so they can miss out on jail time or some other absurd shit. Faking your own death is essentially pushing all of your chips to the middle on the turn, praying you to hit the river. It's a cheeky chance to double up or go broke if you get what I'm saying. Sadly, in this guy's case, he lost everything. They just added on to his sentence and he can't be too happy about that. One minute you're thinking you've outsmarted the justice system, the next you're behind bars because you hired a shitty counterfeiter. Life comes at you pretty fast, huh?