Iowa Judge Suspended After She Showed Up To Work Drunk And Pissed In The Street

Press-Citizen- A southern Iowa judge has been suspended without pay for 30 days after findings that she arrived for work at the Henry County Courthouse intoxicated and, in a separate incident, urinated in a street. Fort Madison-based District Associate Judge Emily Dean was drinking a “colorless liquid” on May 9, 2012, while her court reporter was driving her from Fort Madison to Mount Pleasant, according to a ruling today from the Iowa Supreme Court. Dean fell asleep in the car and when she arrived at the courthouse an employee in the county attorney’s office convinced her she could not work. Later that day, Dean was taken to a hospital intensive care unit for “severe alcohol intoxication” and stayed for three days. The Iowa Commission on Judicial Qualifications suspended Dean the day after the incident so that the Iowa Attorney General’s Office could conduct an investigation. “On that day, Judge Dean did not promote public confidence in the independence, integrity and impartiality of the judiciary and did not perform her duties competently or diligently,” the supreme court’s order today said. An investigation found other incidents, including a May 2012 report that a woman driving a car owned by Dean’s husband had urinated in a public street. The resident who filed a complaint followed the car back to a residence owned by Dean’s mother; Dean admitted in a letter that she “could not remember what happened and could not deny” the report, according to the ruling.

Well this judge has a big case of the fuck its, huh?  I can’t say I blame her though.  If I was a judge I’d get drunk on power (pun intended) so fast it’s not even funny.  I’d look at the world in a whole different light if I had the power to put people in prison for long stretches of time and hold one of those badass wooden hammers.  A gavel, that’s it.  Rules and laws that we have set up as a society would slowly melt away and before I knew it I’d be drinking vodka on my way to a trial hearing and pissing in the street just like this lady.  It’s human nature.  Give someone a little bit of power and they’ll go crazy.  Not to mention having to listen to people blabber on about their problems and getting arrested and listening to crooked lawyers go on and on about laws and blah blah blah.  That’ll drive any sane person to the bottle.  And as far as pissing in the street goes, you can’t show me a single person who hasn’t pissed in the street at one point or another.  Guy or girl.  When you gotta go, you gotta go.  It’s science.  And pissing in public is AWESOME.  We’ve all seen Big Daddy.  Even a person with a law degree has to admit that.  So freeing and a little dangerous at the same time (a lot dangerous if you’re a judge).  There’s something very natural about letting your nuts (or curtains) hang in the outdoors and relieving yourself.  I guarantee the people who suspended this judge have all done it so they’re hypocrites.  All of them.

PS- Judging from that picture of the suspended judge, would.  Especially knowing full well that she loves to party.