Business Insider- Taco Bell lovers are freaking out about social media reports of a radical menu change. An insider at the fast-food chain posted on Reddit that Taco Bell is planning to make significant cuts to its menu in mid-August. According to the Reddit user, items on the chopping block include all potato items, Quesaritos, Beefy Frito Burritos, and the Triple Layer Nachos and Nachos Supreme.
The anonymous poster said that the information might be subject to change, but a Taco Bell representative told Business Insider that there is reason to believe a menu shift is in the works.
What, and I can not emphasize the next part of this sentence enough, the FUCK is this Taco Bell? First 2020 took our sports, then it took our bars, and now it is going to take our Cheesy Fiesta Potatoes? Potatoes may not be the first thing that cross people's minds when they head South of the Border, but the good people at Taco Bell have perfected the peak crispiness of frying a potato in the fast food game, which is no small task. Those mad food scientists also combined a quesadilla and a burrito, which is more impressive than anything I've seen actual scientists do. In fact, the only scientific feat more impressive than the quesarito is cloning dinosaurs, and that only happened in the very fictional (for now) Jurassic Park. Throwing that sort of innovation in the trash is thumbing your nose at Einstein, Newton, Darwin, and every other famous scientist on this list that I had to look up because my simpleton brain couldn't think of a list of scientists.
5 Bonus Idiot Points for me for misspelling "Scientists"
The worst part is the reasoning Taco Bell gave for all this.
"We are in the process of evolving our menu to simplify operations and make our team member and customer experiences easier," a representative told Business Insider. "We'll have more to share with you soon."
Simplify the menu? Look, tell me coronavirus spreads when the DNA of burritos are spliced with quesadillas, that Nachos Supreme's secret ingredient has been COVID for years, or that the Loaded Grillers and Fritos Burrito were such incredible deals that they didn't make enough dollars for it to make sense on the menu. But don't tell me you are looking to simplify operations at Taco Bell. The entire menu has like 7 items on it that are interchangeable and can be combined to make a new glorious concoction at any given time to market to fools like me that will obsess over it until I shove it down my gullet.
The only thing that makes me feel better about all this is that there is no way Taco Bell truly wants this smoke with the online vegan community, which has been playing for keeps for years and has a dragon in Peta just waiting to blow fire at any given time.