Sometimes It Takes You Way Too Long To Realize Something And You Feel Like An Idiot When It Hits You

 

"Take Off Your Pants And Jacket". Not just a great album, but also a great play on words. Is it a pun? I'm not sure. I don't know what qualifies something as a pun or not. But much like Machine Gun Kelly, it took me way too long to realize what "take off your pants and jacket" really means. It didn't take me 19 years...but it took me probably a good 10. Oops! I just thought they were doing a wacky bit, like you get to a restaurant and take off your pants and also your jacket. And what's funny is I 100% know someone reading this right now is still like "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, WTF DOES IT MEAN?". You'll get it. Maybe today, maybe tomorrow, maybe you've already stopped to Google search it, but you'll get it. Lots of people learned something new yesterday...

 

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Same for Dude Ranch, by the way.

 

I have a confession to make though- I've been working out a lot. Cardio, lifting, eating SUPER healthy during the week, limiting my carbs, the whole bit. That's not the confession, that's the brag. So when you're working out but also enjoy drinking alcohol, you want to go with the lowest calorie, lowest carb drink possible. I'd been doing vodka sodas forever, and then read that tequila is carb free as well. Perfect! Who doesn't love a good ol' fashioned margarita or 5? Delicious drink, no carbs, and then I found out after weeks of drinking only margaritas....

 

 

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Fucking WHAT????? How…no…yes….how am I such a MORON that I never pieced together the reason margaritas taste so good is they are LOADED with SUGAR?!?!?!?!? What a fucking ding dong brains I am. Here I am putting in all this work to be as healthy as possible and it turns out I've been injecting myself with fucking mountains worth of sugar this entire time. Fuckkkkk meeeeee. 

I…I don't know how I didn't realize it. I'm usually so conscious about that type of thing. No wonder my teeth always feel like they are falling out of my mouth after a night of margaritas, I've basically been using sugar as mouthwash for the last 3 months. 

So hey, live and learn, right? Boy. No wonder our obesity numbers are through the roof. I look up nutrition for nearly everything and I still got whamboozled due to my own stupidity. They should really teach you that in college. Still gonna drink them, but maybe I'll limit myself to under 100 fucking grams of sugar per night. God dammit.