Wake Up With This Bear Putting On A Clinic With These Nunchucks
"Hey, Jordie. It's almost noon on the east coast and you've already written a blog today. What the hell do you mean "wake up"?"
Uhhh have you self-centered assholes ever once thought about the pacific time zone before? Or how about people who got really really drunk yesterday and ended up sleeping in today? Or what if somebody has been in a coma for the past few months and just miraculously woke up 5 minutes ago. They deserve a wake up blog as well. So now back to the matter at hand here...
You realize we're all fucked now, correct? There is one thing and one thing only that has been keeping humans at the top of the food chain for all these years and it's our brains. We've developed the ability to construct and use weapons to kill. Hand-to-hand combat between a human and a bear? We get our dicks kicked in. But give a human a weapon and that'll level the playing field a little.
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But now that we've got bears out there who clearly know how to wield the heck out of some nunchucks? We're screwed. We are so, so very screwed. Because eventually that bear is going to want something a little bigger. It's the same thing that happened with humans. There was a time in history when humans were chill with just using spears that they whittled themselves. Then a couple hundred years of development later, now we can send nuclear bombs across the planet from someone's living room.
Do I think that bears are going to develop nuclear technology? I would say no. But I also woke up this morning thinking that ninja bears don't exist, so I've got a track record of being wrong about this stuff. Eventually the nunchucks won't be enough. Then they'll move on to a gun. Then they'll move on to rocket launchers. And before you know it, we're all toast because somebody decided it would be cute to give this bear some 'chucks.