Here at Barstool, we are for the common man by the common man and pumping out content at a preposterous rate across a zillion different mediums. Which means sooner or later, somebody may throw out a bad take. Never me, to be clear. But somebody. Unfortunately, that somebody today was a somebody I love. A man I have shared a podcast, a trip to Stew Leonard's, and even my vasectomy with.
I honestly don't even know where to begin with Large's take on Skittles because it is almost like he has never eaten a Skittle before. Andy from 40 Year Old Virgin describing the texture of a boob as a bag of sand makes more sense than Large's quote about Skittles. The Froot Loops side of things is fine. I have no problem with saying the only difference between those loops of fruity cereal is the dye they are laced with.
But saying all Skittles taste the same is not only the worst food take in Barstool history but they have me wondering if Large has ever actually eaten a Skittle in his life. While Large has become the face of taste here at Barstool thanks to his incredible cooking ability, giant bags of money that reside around his house, and exposure to the Finer Things Club due to years robbing idiots like me of their money during his Wall Street days, he clearly is lacking in knowledge about the candies of commoners like you and I. In fact, I bet Large hasn't eaten a candy that sells for less than $20 a package and was imported from a European country with an X or Z somewhere in its name.
Not only do each color of Skittles taste different, but they taste like the fruit they are supposed to. Sure if you eat a bunch of Skittles at the same time like I occasionally do because I am a savage who cannot help themselves, you get a fruit salad kind of flavor while tasting the rainbow. If you eat each Skittle individually, you can CLEARLY taste the between orange, lemon, strawberry, etc. Not only that, but any fan of Skittles worth their salt knows that once green went from Lime to Apple, the entire dynamic of that aforementioned fruit salad changed because each flavor is so distinct and apple is simply too strong. That's not just coming from someone who has probably eaten their considerable weight in Skittles throughout his life. That's coming from someone that once had a snack show on these very airwaves.
And yes, this is exactly what Snackin' Off would look like if it was a person and still alive #RIPInPeace
Blogger's Note: If this is all a classic Deke Zucker misquote, I take back everything I say about that big bastard and will place the crown of shit back on my old Snackin Off buddy KFC with his take take of M&Ms being Skittles rivals instead of Starburst because they have a similar shape as the worst candy take if not food take in Barstool history.
- Take A Report And Eat A Skittle For Me One Time!