Father And Daughter From New York Have The World's Widest Tongues

TelegraphA father and daughter were shocked to discover they have the world’s widest tongues. Byron Schlenker, 47, and his daughter Emily, 14, together hold the Guinness World Records for being blessed with quite an unusual feature. Mr Schlenker’s measures 8.6cm across – the same width as a beer mat and 2cm wider than an iPhone 6 – and his daughter’s is not far behind at 7.3cm.  The fascinating discovery has made Mr Schlenker aka the “gobfather” something of a celebrity in his hometown of Syracuse, New York, US. He had picked up the Guinness Book of World Records and turned to a page featuring a man with the “World’s Widest Tongue”. It was only when he began to wonder how wide his tongue was with his family that he measured it; it was bigger than the one featured in the book. He said: “I get stopped by people at the grocery store or when I’m out in town to take a picture. I have had people come to my house to sign their record book. I even had one lady who asked me to lick her Guinness Book, which I politely declined.” “I’ve loved the attention so far. Most people are just surprised I can talk normally.”

There has never been a more appropriate time to drop a Black Twitter “BRUH.” than right now. Put those monstrosities back in your goddam mouths, you two. Those things are the size of fucking hamburger patties. Looks like a fucking bee stung your tongue dude. Squash those chode-tongues back in your pie hole and keep them to yourselves. Seriously I’m glad you’re a world record holder but I do not need to see that hunk of meat flop out of your mouth. When I saw this:

I almost puked. Plus to be honest I think this guy is a little cocky with his iPhone tongue:

Thats not even the 6 plus bro. And you dangling your tongue around with your daughter just flat out creeps me out. That aint normal father behavior dude.

I hope that Guinness certificate brings you and your daughter enough joy to offset a lifetime of biting your own tongue. Seriously thats one of the cruelest things God has ever bestowed upon his people. They most bite their tongues CONSTANTLY. Not too mention you guys are both circus acts now. Must be fun for that girl going through her transition phase in middle school while having a goddam giraffe tongue. I’m sure everyone is really kind to her about that one. Nobody likes those meat slabs in your mouth. Unless you’re this chick:

Who either was looking at Byron’s dick, not his tongue. Or she has the widest clit ever at this dude is an oral sex match made in heaven.