How Would You React If One Of The World's Deadliest Snakes Tried Fighting You As You're Driving On The Highway?


Of course, this shit happened in Australia. 

Why do people choose to live in these places? I get that most of the time people are just born there and just kind of never leave, maybe they don't have the money - whatever the case may be. But let me tell ya this; if I was born in Australia I'd get out of there ASAP. Far too many scary and/or life-threatening animals for my liking. Massive tarantulas, deadly snakes, Tasmanian devils, and crocodiles? Couldn't be me. 

(CNN)When a traffic officer pulled over a pickup truck on an Australian highway, he didn't expect to find one of the world's deadliest snakes inside.

The driver, a 27-year-old man identified only as "Jimmy" in a police news release published Tuesday, was heading down the Dawson Highway in the state of Queensland at 100 kilometers per hour (62 mph) when he noticed a reptile in the vehicle.

It was an eastern brown snake -- highly venomous, and responsible for the majority of snakebite deaths in Australia.

sidenote - is it me or is Jimmy like the perfect Australian name? Hearing "Jimmy" in an Australian accent just feels right in my brain.

Just had to put that gif in here. It makes too much sense.

Poor ole Jimbo was just minding his own business. Cruising down the highway, not a care in the world when all of a sudden he has to come face to face with the deadliest snake on the planet. Maybe the worst the possible scenario. You'd have to imagine that this type of shit is an old hat for Australians though. They probably find a snake in their box of cereal every morning. 

"The more I moved my legs … it just started to wrap around me. Its head just started striking at the (driver's seat) chair, between my legs," Jimmy said in the news release.

He then used a seat belt and a nearby knife to fight it off -- while trying to stop the car.

Jimmy thought he had been bitten in the ensuing tussle, and feared for his life. Eastern brown snake bites are fast-acting and fatal, and the venom can cause paralysis and bleeding into the brain.

Talk about literal nightmare fuel. Back in my younger years, there was and seeing a story about a snake crawling up some lady's toilet. I checked the toilet for a snake every time up until I was 17. This story? You better believe that the backseat of every car I enter is being thoroughly checked for poisonous snakes. Probably till the end of time. I couldn't afford to get into a tussle with a snake, the fight would be over before it started. 

Not for Jimmy though. Jimmy stuck in there and put on a fucking battle clinic. Snake never stood a chance. Must've been an all-time "fuck" moment when he thought he got bitten by this snake. Paralysis? Bleeding into the brain? Why the fuck are these animals a thing? I feel like as a society we have to deal with such a thing, no? Eradicate them, perhaps.

So Jimmy killed the snake, hit the accelerator and headed for the nearest hospital. That's when a police officer spotted his car, driving at 123 kilometers per hour (about 76 mph) and pulled him over.

As if Jimmy's day couldn't get any worse. Thank god he wasn't actually bitten or else that stop would've been curtains for our pal here. The cop must've been rattled when he walked up to the car and saw the carnage. That and Jimmy definitely showed him the body to back up his story. Is that a situation where he gets a ticket or no? Like yeah, he was speeding but I'd argue he had a pretty good reason. It was either speed or potentially fucking die. Not much of a choice. 

Again though, he just has to count his lucky stars he wasn't actually bitten during the exchange. That exchange would've been the end of the road for most people. Hell, that snake could've unhinged its jaw and swallowed me whole had I been in that position. Nothing I could do about it.