How Stupid Do You Have To Be To Pay Someone To Scare You? Drive-In Horror Show Is Charging People $80+ For 15 Minute Show.

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TOKYO – A Japanese performance group is starting a run of drive-in horror shows for people who are scared of catching the coronavirus but still want to get close-up frights from ghouls and zombies.

Audience members will drive into a garage in Tokyo, one car at a time and listen to a murder story and sound effects blared out of speakers, as actors dressed as monsters bang on the side of the vehicle and spray fake blood over the windows.

As they say; when in Rome a situation where people can't actually interact with other people so we have to find a new form of entertainment.

I mean why not, right? People are tired of sitting inside combing through the Netflix catalog for hours on end until they inevitably pick the same show they've watched 16 times. It's time for a change. They need some real, fresh entertainment. Something that hasn't been done before, something that will knock the sock(s) clean off their body.

So while I appreciate the effort and hustle of getting this whole operation up and running...

No Way Randy GIF by Zack Kantor Giphy Images.

Not to use an overused gif/saying on you guys or anything but that's the logical response to the scenario. This is just a haunted house without the house. Seems rather pointless if you ask me. Except here you just drive up to some random ass garage and sit there while all this shit is just happening to your car. They also apparently just spray fake blood on your car. Not a bad idea but any means but I'd certainly hope they plan on cleaning that shit up too. The people wanted a show, not a goddamn chore. 

There was also mention of "monsters" who "bang" on the car. No matter how you want to interpret what that means, neither sounds exactly ideal. It's either you've got some monsters just beating the shit out of your car or you've got Frankenstein balls deep in the girl from the ring. There's no in-between. Neither of those scenarios sounds even remotely fun nor entertaining but hey, that's just me. 

Each group will pay up to 9,000 yen ($84) for the experience, he added. Shows last for about 15 minutes until the shutter goes up and another group comes in and customers without a car can borrow one.

sidenote - nice touch that you can borrow a car. It's not like the people have to drive to get there anyway.

The whole pay-to-be-scared thing never ceases to amaze me. I, for one, hate being scared. Call me crazy but I'd go as far as to say that the majority of people don't like to be scared. So the idea of going out and spending money on a bad emotion isn't exactly at the top of the to-do list. When it means you're just paying a bunch of random people to dress up and jump on your car, it's probably not worth it.

This could just be my extremely shallow pockets talking here but $84 for 15 minutes is a bit steep. $20? Sure. Whatever. Have it. 15 minutes is just such a preposterously short amount of time for nearly $100 that I honestly respect the move. $84 just to have some people hump your car and spray ketchup on it. For that price, I'm all set. I'll just stay at home to watch some shitty horror movie and get the same scared effect for a little-to-no extra cost. You have to either be the stupidest human on the planet or the biggest horror fan of all time to be spending that type of dough. 

Realistically all this little haunted garage has to do is make it to late September/early October to cash in. If this thing makes it to Halloween season, then you'll start to see the real profits. Then you can jack up the price and everything. You'd have to imagine owning a haunted house in October = Scrooge McDuck levels of money. But for now, the price and experience are far too much for July.