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Pro Tip- Don't Ride Your Dirt Bike On Train Tracks Or You Might Come Within Inches Of Getting Crushed By Said Train

 

You know in movies whenever there’s train tracks around people always seem to get stuck in them somehow?  It never fails.  See train tracks in a movie, know that someone or something is going to get stuck in them and lo and behold a train is going to be bearing down on them at the exact time and they’ll make a miraculous escape.  That just seems to be a guarantee.  The movie Joe Dirt comes to mind.  It’s as sure of a thing as a baby not getting killed in a movie or the male and female leads in a romantic comedy falling in love.  I always thought it was stupid when that happened in movies.  Trains move at the speed of ice bergs and have super loud horns that warn you when they’re within like 15 miles.  I never thought it was a realistic part to put in a movie until today.  Turns out people really are that stupid.  Take this guy on the dirt bike for example.  He could for sure hear that train coming from about a million miles away and he still said “Hey, let’s ride our bikes on these train tracks.  Nothing will happen” and boom he gets his bike stuck in the track and almost gets him and his bike crushed into a million pieces.  What I’m trying to tell you is that I’ve been unfairly judging train scenes in movies my whole life.  That’s really the bottom line.