Come on down to Big Brother Motors and get you a low miles, high quality, Mine Resistant Ambush Protected vehicle for the low price of FREE. That's right folks, these 30,000 pound war machines will cost you no money down with no monthly payments! All you have to do is be a small West Virginia town of 8,400 people with a crime rate 47% below the national average and you can drive this sumbitch right off the lot.
*Slaps hood* You can fit the entire police department in this bad boy.
That is how I imagine the sales pitch goes, anyway. It really is kind of fucked up how the government is just handing out these things that cost nearly a million bucks a pop, but it would be more fucked up if people turned them down. You offer me an MRAP for free and pal you better clear the way at the Starbucks drivethru. We actually went deeper on this topic and you can watch it.