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Who Cares About Baseball Coming Back Now That Netflix Has A Gameshow Featuring Our Real National Pastime: The Floor Is Lava

It appears that Netflix has decided baseball is the next American institution it is going to kill after slowly choking Blockbuster out on its way to climbing atop the video throne and I LOVE it. For all the talk about baseball being America's Pastime, there sure is a whole lot of example of how the people that run baseball don't give a fuck about the Americans watching it. From the late playoff start times that cut out the young viewers to the social media posting policies straight out of Stalin's Russia to the bajillion work stoppages including one during a pandemic that has cost millions of Amercians their livelihood. Simply getting a baseball game together is next to impossible for many Americans considering the amount of people and space you need in order to play. 

The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been The Floor Is Lava. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It's been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But The Floor Is Lava has marked the time. This show, this game. It's a part of our past, Ray. It reminds us of all that once was good, and it could be again. The Floor Is Lava has survived countless generations without anybody actually passing it to their kids because its one of those games you learn whether you grew up on a coast, in a flyover state, in a city, or in East Bumblefuck. Playing a game where the floor is piping hot liquid rock is one of those things kids simply know how to do out of the womb along with eating, shitting, and crying, even if there isn't an active volcano within 1000 miles from you. I don't care that this is essentially a remake of Wipe Out. The Floor Is Lava will always stroke my nostalgic funny bone until the day I die. Hopefully Rob Manfred and the fellas can accelerate the death of baseball from Fast to Super Duper Fast so there is no awkwardness once The Floor Is Lava officially wears the America's Pastime crown.

P.S. If any of the big wigs at Netflix are reading this, please consider to embrace childhood games if The Floor Is Hot Lava is a success by doing some sort of Extreme Forts Home Edition because building forts go hand in hand with pretending the floor was liquid hot magma.

P.P.S. This. A million times, this.