If You're Up for Some Socially Distanced Orgying, This NYC Sex Club is For You

In a world where three  and a half months ago we stopped allowing people arenas, theaters, stadia and even golf tournaments, and the restaurants that are slowing opening are putting your table inside a plexiglass box like a pet hamster, it's only natural that the first institution to suffer would be the noble, beloved, time-honored tradition of the orgy. 

Sure, attempts have been made to keep this important part of our culture going. Particularly in our major cities. Not two weeks ago, the New York City Board of Health issued guidelines for throwing proper, socially responsible sex parties:

But there is a limit to government power on such matters. Even in a time of widespread bureaucratic overreach. Ultimately the real solution to the Covid orgy issue was going to have to come down to those brave men and women on the front lines. The real experts. Those boots-on-the-ground group sex enthusiasts with experience in running such things. So enter the good people of the Manhattan kink scene to show us the way:

Source - [A] Soho sex club is navigating how to get down and dirty while still staying squeaky clean and coronavirus-free.

In order for the members-only group called NSFW — which stands for the New Society For Wellness — to open their clubhouse doors again, they’ve rolled out an assortment of new rules and regulations that take the risk out of risqué, The Post has learned.

“We had to figure out how to do this in the safest way possible, where no one feels at risk or in danger, but can still enjoy themselves,” says NSFW founder Daniel Saynt. Indeed, earlier this month, the city issued some guidelines for group sex, including to do the deed in a well-ventilated area and keep alcohol-based sanitizer on hand.

So Saynt — whose job title is “chief conspirator” of the club — drafted additional safety precautions himself, including mandatory temperature checks at the door, bringing a separate change of clean clothes in a plastic bag, wearing a mask (NSFW has their own branded version) and gloves, using sanitation stations throughout the space, and of course, “no new sex,” which means you can’t hook up with anyone besides the partner you came with.

“We have enough room to give each other space, so we’re asking members to engage in a ‘no new play’ policy, which means come and play with a partner and experience NSFW for the exhibitionist and voyeuristic sides of it,” says Saynt. …

In order to adhere to social-distancing policy, the cannabis-positive club is only allowing 20 members to attend in person, which is 10% of the space’s capacity.

And there you go. That is capitalism in action. The private sector finding a solution to a very public problem. Is it perfect? Of course not. How could it be? We are still in a war time footing and sacrifices have to be made. I'm sure your average NSFW member lives by a "the more the merrier" philosophy, and would prefer a packed house of 199 other people to swap all possible fluids with instead of just dancing with the one that brung you and watching 18 strangers from a safe distance. But it's better than nothing. In the orgy game, you can't let "perfect" be the enemy of "good." 

So congratulations to Chief Conspirator Saynt and the good folks at NSFW for meeting this problem head on and doing all they can to keep their lifestyle going. Truly, it's inspiring for the rest of us non-orgy guys. 

To me, this is a lesson we can all learn. A glimpse into our near future when we'll have 25% capacity at ballgames and movie theaters but we'll accept it because it'll be better than nothing. And with any luck, we'll have a vaccine for this thing and Saynt and his peculiar clientele will be back to daisy-chaining with a room full of Drakkar Noir-soaked, gold chain-wearing weirdos in no time.