Celebrity Threesome Update: Elon Musk Denies Having One with Amber Heard and Cara Delevingne

Two days ago I brought you the latest story to come out of the proceedings between Johnny Depp and his ex-wife Amber Heard, a divorce which is still making headlines a full 3 1/2 years after it was finalized.

And now we have a further update:

Source - Elon Musk has denied allegations that he was involved in an alleged “three-way affair” with his ex Amber Heard and model Cara Delevingne.

The Tesla billionaire gave an exclusive statement to Page Six after astonishing new claims were made in depositions in the defamation case between Heard and her ex-husband Johnny Depp. …

But the Tesla billionaire exclusively told Page Six of the threesome allegations with the model and actress, “Cara and I are friends, but we’ve never been intimate. She would confirm this.

“Also, I wish to confirm again that Amber and I only started going out about a month after her divorce filing. I don’t think I was ever even in the vicinity of Amber during their marriage!”

Musk continued to Page Six, referring to Depp’s dogged legal pursuit of Heard following their 2017 divorce, “Regarding this lawsuit, I would recommend that everyone involved bury the hatchet and move on.

“Life is too short for such extended negativity. Nobody is going to say, after it’s all over, that they wished the court battle had lasted longer!”

I think I can speak for most right-thinking, clear-headed individuals when I say:

Elon Musk is a polymath who knows more about building a successful automobile empire and launching people into space than any human being who's ever lived. But he doesn't know the first thing about being involved in a celebrity gossip sex story. That much is obvious. 

Guy. You're a science and tech nerd. With a newborn baby who's mother gave a name that would register as "Security level STRONG" if you used it as a password. And the entire world was just told you were in a 3-way with two model/actresses. You don't go around denying that. That's the kind of respect that not even Jeff Bezos or Mark Zuckerberg's money could buy. 

Going behind a guy's back to have an affair with his wife is wrong. Lying about threesomes you didn't have is also wrong. But it's not a crime to let people believe you did. That wasn't Musk's sworn testimony in that defamation case. He didn't tell anybody to say it. It's not like he's the Sherminator in "America Pie," paying Natasha Lyonne to spread the rumor he's got a huge package. He's under no obligation to set the record straight. 

This is not complicated. If someone spreads a false rumor about you that works in your favor, with no consequences, say nothing. And let people do with your non-denial denial what they will. Believe me, if someone were to spread the rumor that I allegedly spent a night doing the London Bridge and the Cincinnati Bow Tie with oh, say, Gal Gadot and Natalie Portman (and note that nobody's stopping you), I would neither confirm nor deny. If asked, I'd slowly slide on my pair of prescription sunglasses, smile and say a gentleman never discusses his private affairs. And if everyone thinks that's my way of announcing final boarding call on Old Balls Stud Airways, that's on them, not me. 

So this is a huge missed opportunity by Elon Musk. I hope he's better at getting those pilots home from the ISS than he is at allowing the public to believe things that would make him much, much cooler. 

P.S. Nobody is ready to bury the hatchet or wants this to move on. Keep the proceedings coming, lawyers.