You Can Now Get Paid $10,000 To Poop

You read that right.

Bidet company Tushy is hiring a "VP of Fecal Matters" on a three month contract to poop. Here is the "fecescription" for the job.

Now, this seems like a PR stunt or maybe even a prank to draw some attention to the company, but Tushy's Marketing director confirmed that it is in fact a real position.

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I feel like every few months a headline similar to this pops up. "Get paid to lay in bed for three months" or "Get paid to insert whatever mundane task here." The problem with those is: 1. They're usually clickbait nonsense and 2. they force you to deviate from your normal routine and or have to leave the job you're currently at. This one? Absolutely not. Just keep pooping and using their precuts. Is there a better job in the world? I do not think so. Mind you, this is not a full-time position, but rather a "fart-time" one. They really laid the poo puns on thick in the job description, but that is okay.

My only personal experience with bidets is my ex-girlfiend's dad had one and I didn't understand the settings and absolutely rocketed a firehose-esque jet up my rectum once, so I will admit I'm a bit gun-shy when it comes to bidets since, but that was for free. $10k to take poops, write down the consistency, splash my anus up with some water and just generally keep an eye on your gastrointestinal system? Seems like the absolute perfect deal and I will certainly be applying.