Name: Masters Tournament
Dates: April 9th – April 12th
Golf Course: Augusta National GC
Location: Augusta, Georgia
2014 Winner: Bubba Watson
Masters, baby! I’m sad that it’s over but I’m glad I watched. Hopefully you feel the same way if you tuned in all weekend.
Here’s what I wrote immediately following Spieth win yesterday at Augusta:
Well there ya go. Unreal. If you watched the Masters at all this weekend then you were a witness to the emergence of golf’s latest super star. 21-year-old Jordan Spieth. Sure, he’s won on Tour a couple times and he finished 2nd at last year’s Masters. People obviously knew who he was heading into Augusta thanks to his recent victories and just how young he is. But now he’s a full blown star. Once you win a green jacket that’s what happens. Especially at such a young age and the way he did it. The way he did it being completely dominating the competition and the course at Augusta. He broke all the records. He broke the best 36 hole record at the Masters. He broke the best 54-hole record at the Masters. He broke the record for the most birdies at a Masters which is flat out unbelievable. He’s the first ever to reach -19 at the Masters (that last bogey on 18 let the record slip away. Tied with Tiger now). He’s the first wire-to-wire champion since Raymond Floyd did it in 1976. Long story short, the kid was masterful. He’s got a green jacket now and nobody can ever take that away from him. The future couldn’t be any brighter for Jordan Spieth. Spieth vs Rory for the next 20 years? We can only hope. Congrats to the kid.
That’s how I felt in the moment and that’s how I still feel. We just watched golf’s next biggest thing emerge during biggest golf tournament of the year. Jordan Spieth. America’s answer to Rory. After finishing Top 5 in all of last year’s majors some of us thought America’s answer would be Rickie Fowler (that’s not to say he won’t be at some point) but Spieth was able to finish the job and grab a major. The most important one.
As far as the tournament itself went, not much you can say when a dude goes wire-to-wire. Not just wire-to-wire but wire-to-wire along with breaking almost every record in the book. It was one of the great performances in a major by any player at any age that you’ll ever see. He won and he won with authority. This pretty much says it all.
Nobody ever really made a run at Spieth. That’s what happens when you go into Sunday with a sizable lead on the field and then play well on Sunday. The big names were up there too so it wasn’t like he was beating nobodies. Woods, Mickelson, McIlroy, Dustin Johnson, Fowler. It just never felt all that close. Justin Rose was the only guy who you thought could maybe challenge him but it seemed like every time Rose birdied Spieth would answer with one of his own. And on and on it went.
Now I don’t want to be one of those people who says, “Man, if Spieth weren’t so dominant we were looking at an EPIC Sunday” because I enjoyed Spieth kicking the shit out of everybody. And there were people on Twitter hoping Spieth slid back a bit so the drama would heat up. That’s fine. You have to imagine people at CBS felt the same way. Like I said before, the names on the leaderboard under Spieth were heavy hitters. Take Jordan out of the equation and you’ve got Mickelson and McIlroy trading haymakers down the stretch on a Masters Sunday. It would’ve been great. Not to mention you had Tiger and Rory paired up which was Nike’s wet dream after that commercial they released last week. Maybe even Tiger throws his hat in the ring if he’d played a little better yesterday. Also, the Masters is the only major where you don’t totally need Sunday drama because 90% of the tournament isn’t about the players. It’s about Augusta. The venue doesn’t move and they do all they can to blow the thing out. The music, the exquisite greens, the Iggy azaleas, the limited commercial interruption, the pageantry, Jim Nantz, the tradition unlike any other, etc etc. You don’t notice the lack of drama as much when your eyes are too busy having sex with the views at Augusta National and all that comes along with it.
It’s true that you lose a little Sunday drama but you also gain watching the next great American golfer be great. I’ll take that every day of the week. Spieth kept his foot on the gas pedal and never looked back. Honestly, they could’ve let him wear the green jacket as he played holes 17 and 18. He had that baby wrapped up and was taking victory laps. The tournament was pretty much over when Spieth went for the green in two on the par-5 13th and made it. It was impressive and ballsy. At that moment you could’ve returned to your Game of Thrones marathon and missed nothing. That’s what you want from a 21-year-old gun slinger from Texas though. Smashing the competition and still not laying up. That’s great for the game.
PS- How are you feeling if you’re Under Armour right now? Pretty great, right? This tweet from our friend Darren Rovell should tell you how happy the UA people are today
A green jacket goes a long way in averting people’s eyes away from your hairline.
Fan of the Week:
We’re going with Giant Lens Guy for FOTW at the Masters. The officials at Augusta National keep a pretty tight lid on fans doing anything stupid or outrageous. But the fact that it’s the Masters bring out all sorts of unintentionally outrageous fans. This guy is #1 in that category. Look at that fucking lens! You know he’s super proud of it too. Anybody who you’ve ever met with a super expensive camera wants to do nothing but tell you about their super expensive camera. “Oh this? Yeah I got me the X94000 with the Mega-Zoom feature and the extra wide filter. It’s great for taking pictures at golf tournaments but also for getting close-up shots at the moon.” Such a Dad hat, Dad sunglasses and a Dad watch too. He’s the perfect Masters fan.
Binoculars Guy falls right into the same category as Giant Lens Guy. They’re cut from the same cloth. “Hey, I’m at the Masters. It’s fine to look like a moron.” And he’s right. If I ever go to the Masters I’m gonna be the idiot that does all of this stuff. It’s a missed opportunity if you don’t. Pull these stunts at any other golf tournament and you’re in the minority. Do it at the Masters and you’re in the majority.
This was a pleasant surprise on Friday. Two-time Masters champion Ben Crensahw was making his final walk up 18 at Augusta and the nice folks at ESPN kept showing his family in the crowd getting emotional. One of those family members? Ben’s daughter Claire who is a SMOKE. Is it a tad disrespectful to be gawking at a dude’s daughter when it’s an emotional moment for him during his career? I gotta tell ya, I didn’t care then and I don’t care now. Blame ESPN for continuing to show her.
Oh and one more thing about the Ben Crenshaw send off. Bubba Watson being a fucking weirdo after greeting him just off the 18th green. What the hell is this dude’s malfunction? Were his hands glued to the inside of his pockets? Hiding a boner from looking at Claire? Shake his hand man! It was like he’d never seen another human ever. Awkward as fuck.
Shot of the Week:
You’ll never believe this but finding video of shots at the Masters is nearly impossible. Normally the PGA Tour’s YouTube page has all of the awesome shots from the tournament listed on there. The Masters? Nope. Nothing. I think Billy Payne takes them all and burns them in a giant pile on the 18th green once the tournament is over. So instead of having a bunch of these, I only have two. One in the form of a ghetto video player and the other is a Vine.
The first one is the SOTW in terms of degree of difficulty. It was J.B. Holmes’ chip on 18 during his Friday round. Chips it from just off the green, all the way to the other side and then back to go in the hole. One of the weirdest chips ever. Too bad it was too little too late. Despite sinking that Holmes still missed the cut by one stroke.
The second one is SOTW in terms of importance. Jordan Spieth sinking his final putt on Sunday to clinch his first major, his first green jacket and a performance that you’ll be telling your grand kids about one day. It was a bogey putt but when you thrash the field and course like Jordan did all weekend you’re allowed to have a bogey to finish up because it won’t matter.
Spieth rented a completely separate house at Augusta that was strictly for sleeping
Power Moves Only from the kid. You can read about it here in this Business Insider article. You gotta love that. Renting a totally separate house from everyone else that is strictly your sleeping house. “Oh what goes on in that whole other house I rented? I just sleep there. That’s all. Walk in, sleep. Nothing else.” If you can afford it, why not? If I could afford a separate house for sleeping that’s exactly what I’d do. In fact, if I ever get rich, the first thing I’m gonna buy is a sleeping house.
Tiger hit a tree root, messed up his wrist then claimed to pop the bone back into place and kept on playing
I honestly couldn’t care less about Tiger’s wrist injury. The only thing I was worried about was that he was going to withdraw and then all of the headlines would be, “OH GREAT. TIGER’S HURT AGAIN” so I was relieved when the wrist thing (whatever the fuck happened) didn’t flush all of the good things he did this week. And make no mistake about it, this was a great week for Tiger in terms of golf. I’m one of the biggest Tiger fans in the world and had the bar set really really low for the Masters. All I was hoping for was two injury-free rounds. That’s it. Making the cut would be a minor miracle. Well safe to say he hurdled over that bar and then some. Not only did he make the cut but he was lurking in the Top 5 at times and was in one of the final three groups on Sunday. Two months ago he was flubbing chips and looking like a fool. HUGE step forward for Eldrick this week.
And in terms of all the “He’s back!” stuff, the conversation has changed entirely from where it was a few years ago. The only people left proclaiming, “He’s back!” are the ones doing it sarcastically. No one (or maybe two people at most) are saying HE’S BACK! and being sincere. Like I said, I’m one of the biggest Tiger fans in the world but I’m not stupid. I know what version of Tiger Woods I’m looking at. His incredible stretch from the 2000s is in the past. That guy is never coming back. His fall from grace in the late 2000s to early 2010s is in the past. Now we’re watching a 39-year-old Tiger with a lot of miles on his body and a bunch injuries who’s just trying to be competitive again. Love him or hate him, that’s where he’s at currently.
Matthew MccConaughey tweets congratulations to Spieth
What’s better, winning the green jacket or getting a congratulations tweet from Rust Cohle? Probably still the green jacket but it’s closer than you think. Factor in the part where McConaughey is a fellow Texan and we’re talking about a dead heat.
She just couldn’t help herself. Rory’s first attempt at a Career Gand Slam comes up short and his ex-fiancee feels the need to congratulate Jordan Spieth on his victory. And don’t you dare think she was just being nice. That’s exactly what she wants you to think. The “and never looked back” part of her tweet is a direct shot at Rory’s collapse at the Masters a few years back. I don’t care if you think I’m wearing a tinfoil hat while reading Caroline Wozniacki tweets and who she hangs out with at National Championship basketball games. It’s all part of her plan.
WE DONT BELIEVE YOU YOU NEED MORE PEOPLE
JOHN DALY WATCH
Click on that link and you’ll see John Daly in his natural habitat. Standing outside of his RV that’s parked out front of Hooters, surrounded by Hooters girls and signing merch. That’s JD. He’s more in his element there than he’s ever been on a golf course. The part where he’s talking about how Herm Edwards and Jon Gruden came to visit him is laugh out loud funny. Can you even imagine what the conversation is like between those guys? I honestly don’t think I can. Gruden talking to Daly at a Hooters might be the apex. The apex of what I’m not exactly sure but it would be a goddamn sight to see and hear. Jordan Spieth might’ve won the Masters but John Daly has won our hearts.
Here’s some more Claire Crenshaw
I already miss the Masters.