A Daytime Soap is Using Blow Up Dolls for Sex Scenes

Source - “The Bold and the Beautiful” has found a creative way to film its intimate sex scenes in the social distancing era: Using blow-up dolls.

“We have some life-like blow up dolls that have been sitting around here for the past 15 years, that we’ve used for various other stories — (like) when people were presumed dead,” Bradley Bell, executive producer and head writer, told Forbes. “We’re dusting off the dolls and putting new wigs and make-up on them and they’ll be featured in love scenes.”

Bell added that for intimate scenes that also involve touching (and a live body that can move), they will use actors’ spouses, provided they test negative for COVID-19.

First things first. Daytime soaps are still on? I mean, my sainted mom had her "stories." And I was not above following "General Hospital" when I was in college just enough so that it gave me increased value to the coeds in the Student Union building who were spending too much time working toward their degrees and getting grades that were beyond my capacity. But that was a lifetime ago. I cannot believe that in a world where most of the greatest R-rated content ever created is available for pennies a day on a whole menu of streaming services and every hardcore need you could ever have can be satisfied for free on the internet, that this art form is still surviving. I just assumed it went the way of extinct anachronisms like Penthouse, the SI Swimsuit Issue and Deadspin. I stand corrected. 

Anyway, while I admire the cleverness of the producers to figure out a way to keep entertaining shut ins and the elderly by replacing the usual simulated sex with simulated simulated sex, if I was an actor on one of these shows, I'd fight this with everything I had. I'd file a grievance with the Screen Actors Guild to put an end to this so fast they wouldn't know what hit them. 

Think about the dangerous precedent this sets. These are soap opera actors for a reason. The next Denzel Washington and the next Scarlet Johansson aren't coming out of "The Bold and the Beautiful." If they were good at acting, they wouldn't be on there, they'd have already made it. The thing that keeps their show on the air and them drawing a paycheck is the audience's hope they're going to see a butt cheek or some sidebewb. It's that thought that, while they're not actually doing the Grungey Tumble, there are two costars seeing each other naked under those sheets that keeps eyeballs on the screen. Once you start replacing them with inflatable stunt sex partners - or their own spouse, God forbid - then the whole exercise will seem pointless to ladies watching from the Covid-free rec room at the assisted living place. They'll just end up asking the orderly to "Price is Right" and all the stars of the show are out of a job. 

This is even worse than finding out the gratuitous nude scene some superstar is just CGI or a body double. Think Cersei Lannister in the "Walk of Shame" sequence. All fiction is an illusion. But when you make the illusion even more illusory with sex mannequins, you're taking jobs away. Soap opera fans might be naive dopes with poor taste who'll buy into evil twin plots, comas, kidnappings and lonely widows being seduced by handsome strangers in leather jackets who are only after their dead husband's diamond mine fortune. But they're not (that) stupid.