In Order To Date His Now Fiancee, Lamar Odom Had To Move To Atlanta, Live In An AirBnB, Change His Phone Number And NOT Have Sex

[Page Six] - “He moved to Atl and rented an air bnb for him to stay in,” the trainer said of Odom. “He met me at the gym everyday to workout with me and even started trying all my healthy smoothies and food. He changed his phone number and cut off contact with previous women.”

She continued, “He patiently worked around my busy schedule with my two kids and niece living with me at the time. He also learned how to be intimate with me without having sex!”

Listen, sure, happy to hear Lamar Odom is doing well. But this list? Fuck no. Changing my number is the quickest way for me to say no to a relationship. I've had the same cell phone number for going on 20 years. I don't want to learn a new number. I know the correct rhythm to say it without missing a beat. The only other number I'd accept would be 281-330-8004 because that's one of the few I know by heart. 

And I get you don't want a Kardashian hitting you up or anyone that Lamar used to be with. He had a hell of a run

The moving part sucks too, but that's more for regular people. Lamar Odom played for multiple franchises and lived out of a hotel on the road. Moving to Atlanta and living in an AirBnB doesn't sound that bad. Not like you have to take care of the yard and shit, just don't break things. I could do that. Sign me up for that. 

Now the no sex thing? Again, we're talking about Lamar Odom who claimed he watched EVERY SINGLE PORN on the Internet. Do you know how much porn is on the Internet? That's countless of hours of watching porn. Taking away sex from a guy who claims he's fucked 2,000 chicks? Well, that's how you end up with a video like this

I get Lamar Odom went through shit, and I'm happy he's alive and well and happy. But having to get a completely new phone number? That's where I'd draw a line in the sand. Outside of my sports teams, my phone number is the longest relationship I have. 

Oh, also just a reminder that Lamar Odom was so fucking good