Breaking Down The 2014-15 NBA MVP Race Using Street Fighter II
I think we can all agree that this has been one of the best NBA MVP races in recent memory. ?In fact, I think the last time there was an MVP race this entertaining, it was 1993, when voters actually tricked themselves into believing that Michael Jordan was the third most valuable player on the planet. ?Charles Barkley finished first, Hakeem Olajuwon finished second, and Patrick Ewing finished fourth. ?Since the biggest arcade game at the time was Street Fighter II (and because it is my favorite game ever), I will break down this year’s MVP candidates with characters from the game. ?And not to go all Billy Madison “Donkey Kong vs. Mortal Kombat” on everybody, but Street Fighter II runs laps around all the Mortal Kombats combined. ?I also added the odds each player is getting in the sports books (I could only find odds on some random site called?oddschecker.com, which have since been taken down). Anyway, on to the MVP candidates!
Carmelo Anthony = Balrog (Odds to win = 250:1)
As a Knicks fan, I just had to look up the odds of Melo being named MVP after the worst season in Knicks history. ?Carmelo is clearly the Balrog of the NBA. ?Both can do one thing well (score/punch) and nobody in their right mind would ever want to play with them. ?I think I will see someone beat Street Fighter II with Balrog before I see Carmelo Anthony raise the Larry O’Brien trophy. ?By the way, calling someone the Balrog of their profession is basically the meanest thing you can ever do. ?And as a Knicks fan, this really, really sucks.
LeBron James = M. Bison?(Odds to win = 28:1)
LeBron is the first real MVP candidate on this list and the comparisons between him and M. Bison are real. ?Both are a living cheat code, which makes it kind of tough to root for them. ?They are just so much more physically talented than everyone else. ?LeBron is the unofficial MVP every season like Michael Jordan used to be, but this season is different. ?The Cavs struggled long enough and LeBron took a two week paid vacation during the season. ?So this year, LeBron earned not being MVP, if that makes any sense (it does…right?). ?Also, if you ever played Street Fighter II with someone that used M. Bison as their go-to fighter, they are a Grade-A asshole.
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Russell Westbrook = Ken (Odds to win = 11:1)
Russell Westbrook and Ken are the brash, moody, but extremely talented counterparts to Kevin Durant/Ryu. ?After this season, we have to rethink just who the best player on the Thunder is. ?Granted Durant won the MVP?last season on his way to leading the Thunder to the playoffs and OKC missed the playoffs this season. ?But that was without a healthy Durant to help out and what we saw from Westbrook this year was unbelievable. ?When used properly, both Ken and Westbrook?can be the best in the game, even though neither may be the first name that pops into your head.
Anthony Davis = Dhlasim (Odds to win = 7:2)
Both are tall as hell and can beat you with their size, but it’s the hidden things that make these guys special. ?Davis’ offensive game is evolving at a scary rate and Dhalsim can light your ass on fire with a Yoga Flame or a Yoga Fire. ?Anthony Davis almost accomplishing the first quadruple double since 1994 is just stupid. ?And dragging that dog of a Pelicans team to the playoffs past Russell Westbrook and the Thunder is incredibly impressive. ?If I had to bet who will win the most MVPs in the next 10 years, Davis is my pick. ?And yes, that was a hotter take than three Yoga Flames.
That is a STUPID stat line. ?And most of that damage was done before the extra minutes of overtime were played.
James Harden = Blanka (Odds to win = 4:1)
Trying to guard a lefty with moves like Harden is like fighting a monster who fly into you like a cannonball or can summon electricity and zap your ass. ?Plus, both have the most distinctive hair in the game today. ?Between missing the playoffs, Durant’s injury, and watching Harden become a legitimate MVP candidate, this has to be the worst year in Thunder history, right? ?The people of Oklahoma City seem nice, but that franchise deserves to lose all it’s stars after the way their owners straight up STOLE the franchise from Seattle. ?
Steph Curry = Chun Li (Odds to win = 1:12)
Somebody built on finesse should not be able to win in a game of giants, but Steph Curry and Chun Li are able to pull it off. ?While the biggest strike against Steph in the MVP conversation is that he has a really good supporting cast, you also have to add the Warriors’ record into the mix. ?67-15 in this year’s Western Conference is like 80-2 in the East. ?Is it really that crazy to wonder if the Warriors could have won 72+ games if they played in this year’s Eastern Conference? ?Anyway, Steph getting better on defense is like when they gave Chun Li a fireball in the later instances of Street Fighter II. ?Just making a great player that much better. ?Also helping Steph’s cause is that he has singlehandedly been responsible for roughly 1 trillion loops on Vine. ?Here are some of Steph’s best hits from the season:
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And of course, whenever I speak about Steph Curry, I HAVE to add this gif of Sonya Curry. ?Simply because she is the MILFiest MILF to ever MILF in the history of MILFs. ?This gif does more for me than any supermodel in a bikini or pro hoe could ever do. ?Just seeing Sonya this happy in Duke blue makes me happy that she was probably happy last Monday night. ?Even if it meant seeing Sad Big Cat on this site for about 72 hours straight.
Steph has been my MVP choice for months now and he has done nothing to change that pick. ?Here is to hoping that a happy, dancing Sonya Curry is at his press conference when he accepts the NBA MVP award.