Advertisement

Look At All These Goddamn Home Dressers

I understand that we all need to make a few sacrifices if we want to get sports back into our lives. I realize that things are going to be a little different for a while until we can get everything back to normal. I know we should just be thankful that rinks are actually starting to open up across North America. But for the life of me, this is just something that I can't get behind. We need to be doing everything we possibly can right now to make sure that home dressers don't become the new normal. 

There may not be another sport in the world in which the locker room plays a bigger role than it does in hockey. You take away the locker room, you take away the soul of the sport. How can you possibly expect the boys to be buzzing if they're just showing up to the rink to lace up their skates before hopping on the ice? The locker room is just as much a part of the warmup as the actual warmies are. 

Advertisement

And have you even thought about what all those guys who mooch clear tape off of their teammates are going to do? Something like 37% of hockey players are tape mooches. They're always asking if they can "borrow a roll of clear". But how can they borrow clear if everybody already shows up to the rink dressed and ready to go? And don't even tell me that they can just start buying their own clear tape because everybody knows a tape mooch only ever buys tape at the very end of the season and offers it up for anyone to use as if that makes up for the entire season worth of tape they mooched. They're screwed. That's 37% of the hockey playing community just gone right there. 

Home dressing is an issue we need to put an end to before it even gets a chance to fully start again. Ban Home Dressers 2020. Join the movement. 

@JordieBarstool