Man Who Shot Himself in the Junk and Blamed it on a Homeless Guy Gets 6 Years in Jail

Source - A Portland man who accidentally shot himself in the groin but told police he was robbed and shot by a homeless man at a bus stop was sentenced to nearly six years in federal prison.

Marcus Anthony Davis Jr., 35, wasn’t allowed to have a firearm as he had been convicted of prior felonies and was on federal supervision for a drug offense at the time of the Jan. 8 shooting.

U.S. District Judge Karin J. Immergut sentenced Davis to five years and nine months in custody after he pleaded guilty to being a felon in possession of a firearm. …

Records showed that a single bullet traveled through the top of his penis, through his right testicle, into his upper inner right thigh and exited through his lower right thigh, according to [Assistant U.S. Attorney Lewis] Burkhart.

Davis claimed that he had been robbed and shot by a white homeless man at a TriMet stop at Southeast Powell Boulevard and 82nd Avenue, but he couldn’t share any details about the suspect, according to the prosecutor. 

The best piece of advice I've ever heard about firearm safety is something that Adam and Jamie used to say on "Mythbusters" all the time. And like most of the wisest things you hear in this life, it's perfectly simple. And it's this: Never point a gun at anything you don't intend to destroy.

That's it. Nothing about checking to see if the safety is on or off. No assuming it's not loaded. No taking somebody's word for it. Don't count on luck. Just don't point unless you mean to put a bullet through it. Which is why I have never pointed a gun at my man parts in my life. And can't imagine a scenario in which any man would. Whether that's holstering it or putting in a pocket or sticking it in your belt because it looks so gangster. I'd put the damned thing in my mouth like Warden Norton when the Shawshank police were pounding on his door before I'd aim it in the general direction of my wang. Just for the fact that if it does go off, it'll be a lot less painful than losing the top of my penis, my right testicle and a good chunk of my inner thigh. 

So with that, good job by the prosecution and the judge on this one. As much as some people might argue Marcus Anthony Davis has already suffered enough and nobody but him was hurt so maybe he deserves some leniency, I'm not buying it. Any guy who can be so cavalier with his prized possession - a man's real best friend - has no regard for human life and needs to be off the street. The way I look at it, he can do a life sentence because the dick whose life gets saved may be your own. 

And as far as the gun control discussion that's buried somewhere in here goes, to me it's like the pro-2A argument goes, "When guns are outlawed, only outlaws who blow the tip off their dongs will have guns." Don't be stupid with your firearms, morons. End of lecture. Thanks for listening to my TED talk.