Bring Back The Miller Lite Vortex Bottles

The year is 2010 and I'm in my early 20's guzzling domestics like everyone else when Miller Lite came out and SHOCKED THE WORLD with vortex bottling technology. It was a landmark design predicated on doing more beers. It's that simple. All Miller Lite has ever cared about is giving the people what they want and in 2010 that meant a smoother drinking experience. So they called their glass guy and had him re-blow like 88 million new bottles to satisfy demand. And boy was there fucking demand. The first time you heard about the vortex bottle was from a buddy. It went something like this: 

Yo did you hear about the new Miller Lite vortex bottle? 


The beer just pours right into your mouth. It's fucking awesome. Let's get some.

And then boom you were slugging lites because you wanted in on the vortex technology. Little did you know it was the Great Tasting Less Filling that would keep you coming back. 

Another thing that doesn't get talked about is how Miller Lite pivoted, HARD, to the punch-hole can to also increase beer flow from aluminum. It's as if they have an entire Research & Development wing of scientists exclusively working on ways to put more beer inside of guys like me. If that doesn't resonate with the Beer Drinking crowd then idk what will. 

Viva la Vortex Technology.