Swiss police have investigated an eight-year-old boy after he allegedly asked whether he could use a toy banknote in a village shop.
The fake euro note was Chinese joss paper “spirit money” – used as symbolic burnt offerings at funerals to ensure the dead have a happy afterlife, according to the Basler Zeitung (BaZ) newspaper.
The unnamed boy was not charged with any offence but his name will reportedly be on police records until May 2032.
Using counterfeit money has always intrigued me. How can a normal person tell the difference? They probably can't. Back in my very limited days on the cash register* at American Eagle, you'd have to get a manager to check the $100 bills to make sure they weren't counterfeit as if they'd be able to spot a very good counterfeit. It always made me wonder just how many people were out there using fake money. Both knowingly and unknowingly.
*I was the worst cashier, maybe of all time. I never pushed the various different bullshit credit cards and rewards you can get at the store. I'm wayyyy too huge of a *checks notes* pussy to have some middle-aged CT mom who just came from her daughter's lacrosse practice laugh in my face.
This kid's biggest mistake was telling the cashier that it was toy money. That's fine, the lying will come with age but this was a missed opportunity. He's clearly never heard the phrase "deny till you die". There are very few times where you are a kid and can actually get one over on an adult and this kid might've just blown his shot. Literally a zero percent chance this guy working at some generic village shop in Switzerland would've called the kid out for it.
Also, why the fuck is this kid gonna be on records for 12 years?? Over a piece of toy money when he was eight??? He's fucking eight years old, he doesn't know any better! He prolly just rolled up to the shop and thought his toy money was perfectly fine, acceptable tender. Boy was he (apparently) wrong. Now he's gonna have to wait until he's 20 to be off of police records, all for a little thing he did when he was merely a boy.
Even though the note was clearly identified as pretend money, shop staff felt obliged to call the police. “It is our policy; we were instructed to do so by the headquarters in Winterthur,” BaZ quoted store manager Tanja Baumann as saying.
Not enough people are talking about this all-time snitch move from this store clerk, either. Who cares if it's the policy? That policy is meant for people with actual counterfeit money, not unknowing little kids. The hassle of filing a report, calling the cops, etc. is far too much punishment for the "crime" at hand. I mean, the man just called the police on a kid who wasn't even born when the first Captain America movie came out. Have a little fucking decency.
Just imagine the look on the cops' faces when he pulled up and saw that the perpetrator's age wasn't even in the double digits yet. It makes me wonder if they slapped the cuffs on him and brought him back to the station or if they just kind of looked at this store clerk like he was a lunatic.
I guess the lesson to be learned from all of this is to never trust a stranger with valuable information. Had the kid not told the clerk it was fake money, the kid probably doesn't have to go on police records. That clerk would have 100% accepted it without knowing the truth behind the bills.