DSMR- The Iowa State Fair will not be held in 2020 because of concerns about the coronavirus pandemic.After months of review and discussion, the Iowa State Fair board made the decision in a live vote during Wednesday’s board meeting. A 16-member committee, the Fair Board includes two representatives from the state’s six fair districts; Wendy Wintersteen, president of Iowa State University; Mike Naig, Iowa’s secretary of agriculture; Gary Slater, the Fair’s CEO; and Iowa Gov. Kim Reynolds. Reynolds is often represented on the board by Lt. Gov. Adam Gregg. A motion to not hold the fair in 2020 and explore hosting a variety of 4-H events in August was carried by an 11-2 margin.
FUCK YOU CORONAVIRUS
Yet another staple of American culture has fallen victim to the global pandemic. The Iowa State Fair has been cancelled for the first time since WORLD WAR II. Iowans from far and wide have been flocking to Des Moines for 75 years in a row stuffing their faces with deep fried oreos, deep fried snickers, deep friend sticks of butter, deep fried donuts, deep fried deviled eggs, deep fried human knee caps, the list goes on and on. You name it, they're deep frying it and eating it at the Iowa State Fair, but not this year. CANCELLED. I never thought I'd see the day where the Iowa State Fair didn't happen. If you had told me a year ago that the Iowa State Fair would be cancelled in 2020 I would've said to you that the world must've ended and I would've been pretty close to being right.
Where are all the presidential hopefuls gonna go to bite into a pork chop on a stick and pander to us common folk? That's always my favorite part of every trip every politician makes to the great state of Iowa. No political trip is complete without taking a big ol bite out of a pork chop on a stick for all Iowans to see. In fact, we don't listen to anything a politician has to say until they take that bite. Take a bit and that's where the conversation starts. Don't take a bite? Get the fuck outta my state, you coastal elite fuck. Thanks to that we've got pictures of every single presidential hopeful since like World War II taking a big ol' bite out of meat on a stick. It's hilarious.
And what about the Butter Cow?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! The main fucking attraction. People trek from all over the world to see the cow made out of butter and now it's just not gonna be there?? Truly a goddamn shame. Yes I understand why (I think? The news changes every 30 minutes on coronavirus. One minute it's not nearly as bad as we originally thought and doesn't spread unless someone spits directly into your mouth and then 30 minutes later it's still the worst virus of all time) but it's a goddamn shame the butter cow won't be making an appearance in Des Moines this time around the sun.
I tweeted this as a joke (but also not really because it's basically the Statue of Liberty of Iowa ) and an hour later the fair got cancelled
No butter cow. No deep fried oreos. No presidential candidates eating meat on a stick. No Iowa State Fair. Sad times.