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Window Cleaners Of Reddit Share The Weirdest Things They've Seen On The Job

I have recently moved into a new apartment with a lot more windows and also a balcony (no big deal). We are surrounded by a lot of other buildings with balconies and open windows. It has me wondering if we're going to see any weird shit simply by sitting outside and staring out in the distance with an open window in our line of sight. And likewise, we'll have to be sure to close our windows for all the tons of weird shit we do (watch Survivor). Today on r/AskReddit there's a thread about the random shit window cleaners (and others) have seen through their years on the job. I rounded up some of the most interesting stories.
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I've been trying to find art to buy online, and I think I may have now found the perfect piece. 

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Jail. Straight to jail. 

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You gotta wonder if he hit it. (The woman, not the priest. Either is fine though. Won't judge). 

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I don't think the writers for the Three Stooges could come up with this themselves. Screen Shot 2020-06-10 at 12.45.42 PM.png

The word "rotund" does not get used enough. Excellent use here for this lady taking a dump. Screen Shot 2020-06-10 at 12.48.56 PM.png

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You have to wonder how he ended up making his move. Seems like a complex process. Screen Shot 2020-06-10 at 12.53.14 PM.png

The heart wants what the heart wants. 

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If you have a pet spider in any capacity, you're a psychopath. If you have a pet spider that you let be free, you need to be on some kind of watchlist. 

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Just some classic dirty talk. Screen Shot 2020-06-10 at 1.10.03 PM.png

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And we will end on this long, sad, but also uplifting story.