I Regret To Inform You That There Is Yet Another Massive TikTok Baby

(ICYMI the original baby) 

Quarantine has made a lot of people come to believe some batshit weird theories. 5G, Chinese labs, Bill Gates??? Those are obviously all wrong, but I have a new theory that is definitely correct: Giant babies are the true 4 Horsemen of the apocalypse.  

The first giant baby came to light in early April, right around when people were thinking stuff might get better. Have things gotten better? No, in fact, quite the opposite. I think that baby was the rider on the pale horse, aka Plague. The question is now this: What is this new baby? I’m not sure, but here is Conquest, War, and Famine left. War sort of seems to fit, but I don’t really know. To be honest, I got left back in CCD. Yes, that is an actual thing. I refused to go to class because:

  1. They were the basement of the church in my hometown of Bay Shore, NY and it smelled musty as FUCK down there

  2. I wanted to stay home and play Need for Speed: Underground

The point is that there is some devilry at work here, and I won't rest until I get to the bottom of it. 

Also, 7 months old? Not a fucking chance in hell.