Flakka Is An Insane New Drug And You Bet Your Ass Florida Is All About It
(Time) — Its effects can be as potent as crystal meth, bath salts or cocaine. It causes people to act erratically, uncontrollably and dangerously. It’s called flakka, and it’s the new designer drug hitting the streets of Florida. In recent weeks in Florida, this new drug has led to a man trying to break down the door to a police station, a man impaling himself while trying to scale a fence, and an armed and naked man shouting about hallucinations from a rooftop, CBS reports. The health effects of taking flakka, which can be injected, snorted, smoked or swallowed, can be dire. “We’re starting to see a rash of cases of a syndrome referred to as excited delirium,” Jim Hall, an epidemiologist at the Center for Applied Research on Substance Use and Health Disparities at Nova Southeastern University, told CBS. “This is where the body goes into hyperthermia, generally a temperature of 105 degrees. The individual becomes psychotic, they often rip off their clothes and run out into the street violently and have an adrenaline-like strength and police are called and it takes four or five officers to restrain them. Then once they are restrained, if they don’t receive immediate medical attention they can die.” “On a scale of one to 10, Flakka is a 12,” Lt. Dan Zsido of the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office told 10 News Tampa Bay Sarasota. “It comes from a place where we don’t know how it’s being made, who’s making it, and what’s been added to it before it reaches the end user so it’s very dangerous.”
God love Florida, those crazy motherfuckers will take anything. It’s like our own little controlled science lab down there and we can do all kinds of case studies. You know how poor people just go to labs and get tests run on them for like 5 bucks? That’s basically what the entire population of Florida is for the rest of America. New drug? Ship it to Miami and let’s see what happens! Oh shit this one’s called bath salt and it made a guy eat another dude’s face, let’s make sure this doesn’t get too popular. Hey this Molly one seems pretty good. Everyone just wants to stay up all night and fuck. Send it to mass production! They don’t even care what it’s supposed to do, they’ll take it.
“Hey this is Flakka. It’s going to send your body into hyperthermia, you burn up something fierce. Then you get psychotic and rip your clothes off. That’s when the fun starts and you fight 5 cops. After that? You die.”
“OK so those are the side effects, what’s the good part of this drug?”
“I just told you.”
“Alright. How much for a g?”
Just a bunch of damn maniacs down there. Exactly like those people becoming human lab rats, Floridians really have nothing to live for so who cares. Best case scenario is it’s a cool drug and it makes living in 110 degrees with 100% humidity and 50 foot anacondas bearable for a few hours, worst case scenario is you die and your nightmare life is over. Win-win. They get a bad rap but I thank the good people of Florida for their service as America’s test animals.