This Is Just Not How You Make Eggs


This picture has been bothering me all day. It started when Dan Bilzerian was trending because he's offering $5k to anyone who comes up with the best title for his new autobiography. This seems to be the leader in the clubhouse right now



But anyway, back to the girl. Well that's his girlfriend or something along those lines. She seems nice. She seems wonderful. Here she is taking a bath while drinking out of a coconut:



Wait, where we were? Oh yes, the picture. The eggs. What's happening here?



A wooden spoon?! Outrageous!  


And here's where it gets tricky-



Is that knob turned on? Because I'm pretty sure there's no flame



If you can't trust Dan Bilzerian's girlfriend making eggs, who can you trust? More fake news, shaking my damn head. Is it too much to ask for some realism in your IG models pictures? Is that too much to ask? Sigh. You think you know someone. I will never go to IG to learn how to make eggs again.