The Real Question Of The Dufner Divorce: Who Gets Louie?

This is the big question of the Dufner divorce.  Yes, there’s emotional damage during a divorce and those have to be dealt with in due time.  Yes, there’s financial details that have to be worked out on both sides.  Who gets what and how much.  There’s also the aspect of families being ripped apart and blah blah blah but here’s the main question: Who the fuck gets Louie the dog?  I need to know.  We all need to know.  Look at that face.  LOOK AT IT.  I honesty don’t give a shit about the rest of it anymore.  I did before, but now that I know a dog’s well being is at stake, that’s all I care about.  I need to know Louie is going with the parent who loves him the most and will take care of him.  I’m actually gonna make a ruling right now.  Jason gets custody of Louie. That’s an official ruling and I’ll tell you why.  Using my sixth sense here (reading between the lines) this divorce is all Amanda’s fault.  Every bit of it.  At the end of the day she gets a $2.5 million pay out and is still smoking hot.  She basically gets paid to be really really hot and that doesn’t seem fair.  What does Jason get?  Two houses, a shitty neck and no more naked Amanda walking around the house. And I’m not gonna go on record saying Amanda cheated on Jason which led to the divorce but that’s a 1000% what happened.  She has that look.  You know that look.  She lured Jason in with her slamming body, put her hooks in him, stuck around for three years then cleared a cool two million+. Not to mention she gave false hope to fat guys every before ripping our hearts out. Shameful shit.  We can’t have Louie living in a house with somebody who acts like that.  Maybe Amanda can see Louie one weekend a month but probably not.

PS- We need Duf Daddy to go on a Rory-type run more than we need air to breathe.  He needs to gain the weight back, start slaying smokes and win a bunch of tournaments.  Start with the Masters. That’d be the biggest, “Fuck you, I’m better off anyway” in the history of divorces.  Flash forward to next Sunday.  Bubba Watson slipping the green jacket on a teary-eyed Jason Dufner as Louie sprints out of the crowd and into Duf’s arms.