ISIS Threaten To Jail Anyone Who Wears Skinny Jeans Or Smokes Cigarettes
Mirror - Islamic State terrorists have banned skinny jeans as part of their crackdown on freedom of expression. Any hipsters wearing the trendy jeans, listening to music on their mobile phones, or smoking, could be jailed by the terrorists for ten days. They would also be forced to take an Islamic course and to stay in prison until they pass, it was reported in Raqqa, Syria. The new laws were revealed by the anti-ISIS campaign group Raqqa is Being Slaughtered Silently (RBSS). ISIS stepped up its anti-smoking campaign last month by carrying out a second mass cigarette burning. Photographs taken in the northern town of Barqah, close to the border with Turkey, show the group’s religious police force setting light to vast piles of cigarettes in a field. ISIS also put up anti-smoking posters featuring images of burning human lungs to scare militants into packing in smoking.
Well this is just gonna be a PR nightmare for ISIS. Take it from a guy who witnessed it first hand, taking a hard controversial stance on skinny jeans will stay with you forever. I mean seriously ISIS is never gonna hear the end of this one. People cant even remember the last person ISIS beheaded but they’ll probably freak out about the anti-skinny jeans stance. There are just some issues you don’t touch upon, ISIS. Skinny Jeans is one of em.
Although I gotta be honest as the original founder of the Clancying movement, I cant say I disagree with this one. You wanna wear some slimmer fitting jeans and be a little more trendy I got no beef with you. But if it looks like you’re wearing your sister’s jeans, we got a problem. Whether you’re an Islamic terrorist or a good old fashioned American your jeans just shouldnt be that skinny. Gives everyone a bad rep, no matter what your game is.
And how about the anti-smoking movement? ISIS just not down with the cigarette scene. Imagine you’re in the middle of the desert terrorizing people and you try to light up a cig and your ISIS boss flips out at you? Like rips that shit out of your mouth and is like “What are you DOING? Do you know how bad these are for you??? Havent you seen the commercial on Al Jazeera with the guy who has to talk through a tracheotomy??? Now put that cigarette out and go blow yourself up in the middle of the street market. There’s a thousand virgins that await you in the afterlife.”