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Boomer Writes Creepiest Letter of All-Time to Daughter's Ex-Boyfriend After Finding Out They Had Sex in High School


You think you know some weird people? Well I bet you don't know any people insane enough to write a letter to their daughter's ex-boyfriend from high school threatening to murder him in the name of Christ for having sex — unless you know this guy, I suppose.

Where does one even begin with this masterclass in being the creepiest man on Earth? I suppose I'll just highlight some of my favorite(?) parts and go from there. There is so much to unpack here.

Since you have not raised a daughter, you cannot imagine the emotions and feelings that I have endured without relief since then. However, I will tell you that my wrath against you is so great that to kill you by prolonged and extreme torture followed by the thorough desecration and destruction of your corpse would not be enough to extinguish my anger. However, I am restrained from doing violence against you by the sole fact that I have given my heart to our Savior, Jesus Christ; and doing willful harm to a fellow Christian is an impossibility. Moreover, I cannot hate a person enough to desire that they should suffer eternal torment in hell. So, I have sought for a resolution somewhere in between these extremes.

So the fact that this guy is also a Christian is the only thing preventing this supposed devout follower of Jesus from KILLING him? I'd have to make another quick run through the Bible, but I'm pretty sure Jesus of Nazareth is not very condoning of that sort of thing.

But after moving on from the murder idea, this boomer lists some stories from a few thousand years ago and settles on what he believes to be a fair punishment.

So, I have decided to petition the courts of heaven to take from you and give to me that which is your dearest possession: your youth and all the good that goes with it. Specifically I demand divine restitution that will age you and rejuvenate me 49 years. Therefore, if from this date you discover that you have aged significantly or are aging rapidly, know that it is not a medical condition. It is the judgement of God.

Well that's a new one. I must admit, for as absolutely batshit out of his mind this guy is, he's nothing if not creative. My hypothesis is he's reckoning with his own mortality as he's getting up there in years and believes he's found a loophole as to how to be "rejuvenated" and get another few decades to write criminally insane letters to people. The worst that happens is nothing, so you may as well take a crack at it.

But what does he think is going to happen to the other guy? He dies when he's 35 instead of 84? That's not aging by 49 years, that just happens sometimes. Is he going to have to get a knee replacement in his 20s?

I just can't get over the mindset one must have lived an entire life with to write a letter this unbelievable. It's so far past any acceptable version of reality that there's no way it could be fake.

Make sure you don't piss this guy off if you don't want a letter condemning you to Hell and possibly aging five decades and having your vitality cosmically transferred to him.