USA TODAY- Costco plans to start bringing back its legendary free samples next month with some changes. The retailer suspended its popular samples in its wholesale clubs in early March over safety concerns with the spread of the coronavirus. Consumers mourned the smorgasbord of free snacks on social media, which was one of the first programs to be cut as the threat of COVID-19 grew.
But during Costco's quarterly earnings call Thursday, officials said they were targeting a mid-June return of the freebies. “We're going to start doing some things in mid-June on a slow rollout basis in sampling,” Costco chief financial officer Richard Galanti said. “I can't tell you anymore, but needless to say it’s not going to be where you go and just pick up an open sample with your fingers."
That's one small sample of food for man, one giant leap for mankind. If anybody has bitch boy COVID-19's phone number, can you please text him this blog and let him know that while he jumped out to a 28-3 lead on humanity, we have already begun our comeback.
I'm not sure if it's because it's a coincidence or because it's an American institution, but I feel like Costco has been the centerstage for how this whole coronavirus pandemic has played out in this country. It was ground zero for the hoarder fuckheads loading up on flatbeds of toilet paper and hand sanitizer once the first fleck of feces hit the fan. That was followed by the confirmation that life was about to change drastically once our free samples were taken away and lines to get in the door stretched as far as the eye could see. It then became a showdown of Pro Mask vs. Anti Mask. And now it is ushering normalcy back with glorious tidbits of food in that somehow taste 200% better being made in a Costco microwave and placed in paper doilies or on toothpicks than they do at home with a full range of fancy kitchen appliances.
I don't even care about the inevitable changes that are going to be made to the free sample process because Costco's sample people were already neat freaks before a global pandemic hit and it will weed out some of the weirdos that circle samples like vultures and cause chaos for people trying to shop. Everyone knows the correct way to get a sample is wait until the display is full, smile at the sampler, say "Thank you", and then act like you are going to buy whatever food they are slinging as you hunt for the next sample with your peripheral vision. Day 1 Costco etiquette that you should be tested on before you get your ID card.
h/t Doelgiee (I have no clue how to pronounce that)