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Monkeys Escape With Covid-19 Test Samples After Attacking Lab Assistant...That's A Real Headline

(Reuteres)--A gang of monkeys attacked a laboratory assistant and escaped with a batch of coronavirus test samples, it has been reported.

The bizarre incident saw the troop of primates launch their assault near Meerut Medical College in Delhi, India.

According to local media, the animals then snatched COVID-19 test samples from three patients and fled.

One of the monkeys was later spotted in a tree chewing one of the sample collection kits, the Times of India reported - adding that test samples from the patients had to be taken again.

It is the latest example of the highly intelligent, red-faced rhesus macaques taking advantage of India's nationwide lockdown to combat the spread of coronavirus.

Alright, seriously, what the fuck. I am going to repost that line because it might be the most absurd thing I've ever read given the circumstances

A gang of monkeys attacked a laboratory assistant and escaped with a batch of coronavirus test samples, it has been reported.

And still...

This is just a reminder that no matter how bad you think you have it, someone out there is dealing with something INSANELY worse. Like, yeah I really miss sports and going to bars. I am not dealing with this

While they have proved an increasing problem in urban areas of the country in recent years, lockdown measures in the last two months have emboldened the monkeys.


When Mayor Lightfoot officially ends the lockdown in Chicago there might be some uneasiness about going out again, but it's not because we have to fight off gangs of fucking monkeys who have now claimed a MAJOR city as their own during the lockdown. The Macaques are fucks. Always have been. 

But now they think they run shit AND...now they might have Covid-19 because they're chewing on tests. Unbelievable. Might be time to bring in an animal that eats them. Let tigers and black panthers and maybe some giant fucking eagles loose in Dehli. Turn the entire city into Jumanji because that is the only thing left for them to do.