Not to go all sabermetrics on you guys with analytics so advanced that not even the biggest nerds in the Tampa Bay Rays front office can understand them. But there is a 10000000% chance the Mets are going to release multiple future Major League players because of the coronavirus. I know that the Mets aren't the only team doing this broke boi move (even though they are the only team in the BIGGEST MARKET IN THE COUNTRY to do it) and that the players they are letting go probably have some of the lowest Overall ratings in The Show if they are even good enough to be in The Show.
However, I have seen enough Mets seasons in my life to know this ends in heartache. Whether these players become All-Stars, MVPs, or goddamn Hall of Famers is still unknown. But what is known is that getting released by the Mets is the best thing for baseball this side of taking PEDs and the Baseball Gods don't let the Mets do a move like this without giving it to them in the literal and figurative backend, which will result in the other 29 fanbases laughing at us. Again.
So while I wish the best to whoever gets cut over Zoom today (or knowing the Wilpons email or snail mail), just know that one, or more than likely many of you, will go on to do great things with another team simply because of the cursed team that released you today. Thank God the coronavirus didn't happen back when Jeff McNeil was a low level minor leaguer because the clown in charge of this circus almost definitely would have let The Squirrel go and I can't bear the thought of him winning a batting title with another team.
Also the thought of Tim Tebow cashing a paycheck in as a hopeless minor leaguer as guys are literally being cut to save cash is infuritating, no matter how much I love Tebow or the thought of having God's favorite player on my team.