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Here Are My Top 5 Burgers NYC Has To Offer In Honor Of #NationalBurgerDay


BURGER DAY! BURGER DAY! BURGER DAY! It makes me sad that I'm not out traversing the city of New York attempting to find the best burgers out there to please the masses like I love to do. Instead I'm typing this on my couch, having only eaten homemade burgers for 2+ months. Breaks my fuckin' heart.

So to honor the big holiday I think it's only right to make a list of my favorite burgers I've come across on my journey. Keep in mind of the course the scores may not fully reflect the list. An example could be if one place got a 4.4 Balls while a place that got a 4.2 Balls is higher on the list. This is simply a reflective piece on the Burgers I've dabbled in. Let's celebrate.

#5 JG Melon

The OG. Yesterday I wrote about how you need to respect the Godfather in terms of mob movies and that's what you need to do in NYC when it comes to JG Melon. It's simply the classic burger. Thick cut of meat. Glorious pickles that feel like they've been stored in a fridge since the Cuban Missile Crisis. Yet lowkey my favorite thing is their fries...round, circular crinkle cut fries. It's a beautiful thing.


#4 Nobody Told Me

This is my most recent triumph. March 10th! The week before this godforsaken quarantine began & I happened to stop in this Upper West Side joint for a Burger of the Gods. Over the years I've noticed that my favorite type of Burger is usually an "Ode to the Big Mac" meaning it's got some sort of combination of shredded lettuce, special sauce, smaller patties, etc etc. And there's few better examples than Nobody Told Me, but those will of course be mentioned later on.


#3 Ed's Lobster Bar

Ed's Lobster Bar from the clouds! Who would've thought one of the best Seafood places in Manhattan would win my Bronze Medal in the burger realm? I surely did not when I visited and I sure was wrong. Another thing I've noticed is that many times nice seafood places have DELECTABLE burgers which I'm pretty sure is the case because they often have top of the line chefs. Therefore top of the line chefs=top of the line burgers.


#2 Lure Fishbar

Oh look! It's another seafood joint! Back to back, double platt! This time was at the great Josh Capon's restaurant with my childhood hero Adam Richman to make a gorgeous harmony of the 2 things I've praised so far- burgers at seafood places and burgers that are made like a Big Mac. Not to mention the 2 orgasmic onion rings placed on top of every burger isn't the worst garnish in the world.


#1 Emmy Squared

GOAT. There is no better Big Mac-inspired burger NYC has to offer than Emmy Squared in their burger literally named "Le Big Matt". It should come as no surprise that this is this good as Emmy Squared is the Brooklyn offspring of Pizza Loves Emily who notoriously have one of the city's best burgers with a preposterous pretzel bun & homemade hot sauce that JUST got left off this list. But we're here to talk about Emmy Squared and my God am I happy to do it. 2 patties, the cheese, the special sauce…it's all so fucking delightful. And usually I like to stick with the sesame seed bun for these types of burgers, but they give you the Pizza Loves Emily Pretzel and it WORKS PEOPLE! I'm crying thinking about it.

Well, there you have it. The Top 5 Burgers from the burger guy on #NationalBurgerDay. Hopefully if you're in the area you can get one of these joints for takeout to celebrate the holiday tonight! It's only right. You will not regret it.