KGTV News 10 — A man who was arrested on suspicion of breaking into a Chollas View bank early Wednesday morning apparently entered the branch just so he can heat up his Hot Pocket sandwiches.
At around 3:30 a.m., San Diego police were dispatched to the Wells Fargo bank branch on 346 Euclid Ave. after a burglar alarm had gone off.
After about an hour, officers broke through the front doors and located the man inside.
As officers took him outside and arrested him, the man told 10News’ Breaking News Tracker that he entered the bank just so he can microwave his Hot Pockets.
When asked if the Hot Pockets were worth it, the man responded, "Hell yeah it was worth it."
As excuses for breaking into a bank go, you'd have a hard time finding one more relatable or valid than this one. Those Hot Pockets aren't going to cook themselves, are they?
We're in the middle of a pandemic; you take your opportunities to eat your Hot Pockets where you can get them. And sure, the Hot Pocket is a vastly inferior pizza-adjacent snack to Bagel Bites, but at 3:30 a.m., sometimes you have to make do with what's available.
I'm just glad it was still worth it to this guy after his arrest. If you can live with the consequences of your actions and look back upon them fondly while in the clink, then all's well that ends well, I suppose.
I hope the Southern California cops do the right thing and free Hot Pocket man, though. It's rare you find a criminal — at least by definition — with intentions so pure. It just happened to be a bank he broke into to microwave his Hot Pockets. He wasn't trying to do harm to anyone.
I think the scalding hot lava that torched the roof of his mouth at 4:00 in the morning was punishment enough.