I Am Now Disney Twitter’s Enemy Number One

While I liken myself as a generally positive guy, I am also a man of many grudges. In the past few weeks, I have fought battles against useless/fraud internet babies, cargo shorts and I’m sure some other things I have since forgotten about.

My intention on my first day of full-time work at Barstool yesterday was not to add another grudge to this list, but it seems that is exactly what happened when I decided to tweet this.

I didn’t think it was that controversial. I had just recently viewed a Facebook post from a childless grown woman who was making a big stink about her *yearly* Disney vacation being cancelled and how the country needs to open now so she can go to Disney. That issue isn’t what this post is about. This post is about the ravenous, remarkably unfunny group that is Disney Twitter.

I have a decent amount of Twitter followers, so when I tweet something it generally gets some attention, but this post absolutely rocketed into another realm of Twitter when my pal Chrissy Teigen responded. 

Chrissy has followed me on Twitter for a while, so I’m used to the absolute flood of lunacy that enters my mentions whenever she interacts, but I had no idea what the next 18 hours (and counting) was about to look like.

Usually, when a large group like this gets angry, they immediately go after my appearance (ugly face, long hair, backward legs). This group, however, seems to have split into two different types of attackers.

1. People sending me pictures of themselves in Disney gear or at the parks.

This move I don’t quite understand. Instead of attacking me, they are seemingly attacking…themselves? I love a good self own, so these were really enjoyable to me. Go check the replies on the original tweet for hundreds of similar pictures to this. 

This man from group one seems to have incited a bit of a hell storm for me. He seems very well connected in the Disney Twitter network. A mob boss of sorts. The Disney Twitter kingpin. He sent out a rallying cry to #DisTwitter.

2. People just getting incredibly angry and saying strange things

Almost immediately, this first challenger arose.

I knew right from the moment I saw a Yankees/Patriots combo tattoo profile picture that this guy was not to be messed with. Is this the actual worst tattoo ever? I think it may be. Throw in the fact that this man is also Disney obsessed? Top-5 worst people on the internet. 

Here are a couple other very aggressive replies. Again, check my Twitter if you want to see a ton more.

Uhhh, guys? Chill out.

Then the hateful, angry DMs started to flow in from these similar group two attackers. 

The lack of proper grammar is funny. The irrational anger, even funnier. I received around 500 DMs from these enraged Disney superfans. 

This one really got me. First off, Walt Disney: Bad guy by many reports! Second, never did I imply I bring the amount of joy that Disney has put in the world. That would be an audacious claim.

Moral of the story here: For a group of people who pride themselves on joy, laughter, happiness and channeling your inner child, they are very mean and very angry. I think they all need some time to reflect and think about how creepy they are being.

UPDATE. This was all worth it: