CBS Sports- Blue Wahoos Stadium is currently listed on the site for $1,500 per night and can accommodate up to 10 guests. Included in the rental, guests will have access to the Wahoos' newly-renovated clubhouse, a large bedroom, the batting cage and baseball field during their stay.
I mean this is the biggest no brainer in the history of no brainers, right? Bitch Boy Covid fucked up everyone's vacation plans by shutting down the entire world right before summer began. So why not turn those quarantine lemons into lemonade by living out a Field Of Dreams dream while running out the clock on all this bullshit in a baseball stadium? It's much easier to pass the time during these boring sportsless days if you can play some wiffle on a legit baseball field, trash a dugout with seeds/gum/dip spit, hook up Mario Kart on the jumbotron with losers being forced to take batting cage fastballs to the dome like Happy Gilmore during training, drink your face off while staring at the glistening Atlantic, nurse hangovers in a clubhouse like Jimmy Dugan and do whatever Florida people do in a single bedroom that can sleep 10 people. We're talking orgies, folks!
Alright, the Blue Wahoos don't explicitly say that orgies are allowed. But take a quick look at their AirBnB description:
For the first time ever, a professional baseball stadium is available for rent on AirBnB, giving fans the most intimate, behind-the-scenes ballpark experience in history. Whether you'd like to host an unforgettable overnight trip with your youth league team, throw an unbeatable birthday bash, stage a corporate retreat that will make you an office hero, or spend your bachelor party living your sports dream, Blue Wahoos Stadium is the ultimate rental.
You don't put words like that in a listing like along with multiple pictures of a black leather casting couch for a team named the Wahoos unless you are letting some sort of sexual escapades to fly. I'm pretty sure they call that the Pensacola Shuffle in the real estate biz.
Even if gigantic sex romps aren't your thing, each person in your group paying $150/night to rent a gigantic AirBnB is a flat out STEAL. I paid more to stay in some regular ass 150 square foot Holiday Inn Express room for a wedding in the burbs I didn't want to go to than people are paying for an entire fucking baseball stadium with an ocean view. Now that I talk through this, being able to rent a place where I can let the kids run wild until their dumb little bodies give out underneath them while I drink my face off while staring at the ocean is Cloud 9 parenting dream shit. Definitely don't rent at Blue Wahoos Stadium!
Honey if you are reading this blog, load up the kids and some shorts in minivan, I can make it to Pensacola by sunrise on Memorial Day.