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The 2020 Reboot Of "The Sandlot" Is My Choice For Best Picture

I had grown tired of the same old reheated reboots and remakes coming out of Hollywood. But this updated version of "The Sandlot" was the perfect update to a classic. Simple, faithful to original, while also making enough changes to make it feel like a fresh film.

Take a few hundred pounds off The Beast to make him a leaner, meaner, and faster kill machine. Add a bunch of those ratty Beware Of Dogs signs since one signals trouble while a half dozen signals an actual hound of hell. Replace a baseball with a football since America's Pastime got trucksticked by America's Passion years ago. And smash the Upgrade button from PF Flyers to black socks since I didn't even know what the fuck PF Flyers were back in the 90s plus everyone feels like they run faster in black socks. Even having three kids pickle this new-age Beast instead of it being a solo job is much more indicative of the modern age Moneyball stylings of baseball where you want to spread out your wealth to build a team instead of investing all in a Benny The Jet and being stuck with a bunch of Smallses (pre learning how to catch/throw/hit/be an actual American kid instead of just some Erector Set nerd). 

I don't know what movies will be eligible for The Oscars come award season because all the studios seem to be holding onto the good shit until theaters can open back up. But Sandlot 2020 has my vote for Best Picture because heroes get remembered but legends never die.

P.S. "After a while the cops started getting calls from people reporting all the missing thieves" is the lowkey funniest line of the entire classic movie.