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Would You Pass The Shopping Cart Test?! If Not, You're An Animal

As most of us read this in quarantine, it's a good time to ask yourself....would I pass The Shopping Cart Theory Test? 

(Aside: Shopping Cart Theory Test sounds awkward, but I think that is proper English. It's a test of the Shopping Cart Theory. If I am wrong, my bad)

As I'm thinking about all the times I've used a shopping cart, I'm trying to recall if I passed. I think I did, because I remember once ranting to one of my friends about the absolute animals who just leave their shopping cart in the middle of the parking lot. 

I wouldn't be shocked to learn those who pass the test earn more, are healthier, have better marriages and contribute better offsprings to this society than those animals who just leave the shopping cart in the middle of the parking lot. Just a simple little test like this can probably predict a lot.