A Whole Lot Of Teen Girls Are Crying All Over Social Media Because Zayn Left One Direction

There are more down below but hooooooly shit is this pathetic. I get teenage girls have a flair for the dramatic — “get” as much as one can without having to knock on doors talking about who’s offending what and who isn’t, I suppose — but it’s just some handsome dude who makes passable music that makes all the moguls move. Like have some dignity. And to post it to social media YOURSELF? My god. How embarrassing. I honestly weep for the guys who’ll date these girls over the next few generations. Attention whoring like that will NOT end well for you, men of tomorrow.

 

Anyway some more hits from the $850 million dream factory:

 

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#cryingwhitegirllivesmatter

 

Not a fan of crying in public but if you’re going to, throwing your hands up while looking up to the ceiling like Shatner yelling “KHAAAAAAAN” is the way to do it.

 

The big question is if you’re a guy at this high school how soon do you try to use this to your advantage? Do you even wait until the end of geometry or just wrap your arm around a girl and go “I know baby, Zayn was always the most soulful” while dropping a Pythagorean theorem.

 

This girl is so obviously faking it. Probably loves The Wanted but just was scamming for some RTs.

 

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“You know mates I thought I was done with the band but then I saw grown-up As Told By Ginger girl tell me to come back on a Vine and knew I had to.” – Zayn right now, probably

 
 

Anyway sorry for your luck, ladies. If it’s any consolation, I’m sure One Direction cares deeply about all of you and doesn’t view you as a dollar sign enabling them to travel the globe and bang Victoria’s Secret models.