Single men and women in the Netherlands are being advised to organise a seksbuddy (sex buddy) after criticism of rules dictating that home visitors maintain a 1.5-metre distance from their hosts during the coronavirus lockdown.
In a typically open-minded intervention, official guidance from the Dutch National Institute for Public Health and the Environment (RIVM) has been amended to suggest those without a permanent sexual partner come to mutually satisfactory agreements with like-minded individuals.
Meet with the same person to have physical or sexual contact, provided you are free of illness. Make good arrangements with this person about how many other people you both see. The more people you see, the greater the chance of the coronavirus."
The Netherlands has been in “intelligent lockdown” since March 23rd, which allows up to three visitors into homes on the strict condition that they keep their distance. In an effort to keep people in their homes while limiting them to the people they come into contact with, the government is pushing single folks to find a fuck buddy during this time of crisis. Genius.
This pretty much gives you the right to scroll through your contacts list and hit up anyone who you has a pulse to see what's up. Don't have to ask me twice. This is your societal obligation to help flatten the curve and stay safe.
"Heyy the Dutch officials say we gotta find a fuck buddy during lockdown. Want to be responsible citizens and save the world?"
Two y's in the "hey" here is crucial given my long and extensive history in the fuck buddy business. But yeah nothing wrong with that message whatsoever. You are simply trying to do what the government suggested. This is your chance to make a difference. For science. For life. Just watch Friends With Benefits and No Strings Attached in back to back sessions to assign the ground rules. Ignore the ending and how they fall for each other, but other than that you'll have your path to success.