So it appears it took only 2 months without sports to be out of our lives for sports radio to go completely off the rails with their hypotheticals. Because while many Giants fans would love to see Gettleman's key card on a spike outside of MetLife Stadium, there are only 2 acceptable reasons for Dave Gettleman to be fired if the allegations against DeAndre Baker are true:
1. Gettleman was the person at the cookout wearing the red mask that Baker allegedly told to shoot someone who arrived at the party during the stickup. In this little tale of fan fiction, Boston Dave (Gettleman's street name) has since acquired at least one tattoo tear on his face for the transgressions of the offseason and now has an ice grill in his mouth if they are still considered cool. The problem with this logic is that there is no way Dave Gettleman would have the balls to be anywhere near committing a crime now that he shares a workplace with Coach Judge, maybe the scariest and most serious man to ever walk the Earth. There is no way the Judge kids are going to get dessert for a week just because their dad is in an awful mood because of something stupid a Florida Man did a couple of days ago.
2. Gettleman was the mastermind of the entire operation because he has actually been a Florida kingpin for years. That's right, Dave Gettleman is to Miramar what Tony Montana was to Miami. Just a lowdown, dirty, ruthless vato controlling an entire criminal empire. The biggest problem with this line of logic is that Gettleman can't figure out how to trade down in a draft let alone move drugs/humans/whatever else they traffic in the criminal underworld. However, it would do a better job explaining WHY A FIRST ROUND DRAFT PICK MAKING MILLIONS OF DOLLARS WITH MANY MORE MILLIONS POTENTIALLY IN HIS FUTURE WOULD RISK HIS FREEDOM FOR DECADES TO STEAL $7000 AND A COUPLE OF FUCKING WATCHES. God dammit. The only thing that makes me feel better is the thought of Boston Dave talking to DeAndre Baker in his thick ass accent like a mob boss talks to a GTA character and sending him on missions around town, with DeAndre saying this every time.
You wanna fire Gettleman for not having a clear-cut plan with incredible draft assets at his disposal, hanging onto Eli for 2 seasons too long, even interviewing Pat Shurmur for the Giants job, multiple awful free agent signings, fine. But the bottom line is if you could get fired for drafting a guy that robbed a bunch of people at gunpoint, the Patriots would no longer be employing the greatest coach of all-time because of the 2nd tight end he selected in a draft and later gave a massive extension to. If drafting someone with character questions coming out of college could get you fired, every single NFL GMs ass would be on the hot seat at some point, even though it would be CRAZY if the Giants fans that want Gettleman gone actually got their wish not because of a move he made but because of something that draft pick did. Almost like Capone getting pinched for tax evasion.
Did I just write a whole blog about a bonehead sports question that was clearly made to offend people with brains while drumming up conversation during this extremely dead sports period of our lives? Of course! But as Omar Little (and probably DeAndre Baker) say: