Those Trucks That Stored Coronavirus Victims? Well, Some of Them Will Soon Be Hauling Corn, Cabbage, and Cornish Hens Again

You may have seen some pretty alarming headlines about the Food and Drug Administration’s recently released guidelines for returning refrigerated trucks converted for storage for coronavirus victim’s bodies back to service in food transportation.

While the immediate response by many journalists, and probably a fair amount of you reading this, is “oh my god, gross, no, dear god no,” we owe it to ourselves and to the victims of the virus to elevate the conversation a little.

Now, relax, breath, and let’s crack open the FDA’s non-binding recommendations, entitled “Returning Refrigerated Transport Vehicles and Refrigerated Storage Units to Food Uses After Using Them to Preserve Human Remains During the COVID-19 Pandemic.

The floors, walls, ceilings and other hard, non-porous surfaces on the interiors of refrigerated food transport vehicles and refrigerated food storage units are generally designed to be easily cleaned. After being cleaned, these surfaces should be disinfected to reduce the risks associated with SARSCoV-2 virus and foodborne pathogens.

Buddy, dont tell me not to freak out about something because then I will absolutely freak out to a level like you've never seen. I do it all the time. My wife says, "we need to talk about something... it's not a big deal... we can do it tomorrow.." for the next 24 hours, I am thinking that my mom, grandma, grandpa, and dog from my childhood are dying; the fucked up thing about that is 3 of those things/people are already dead. Brutal. 

Without this article/tweet, I wouldn't have even thought about the possibility of my delicious cherries (with pit so it's more affordable) from Costco being in a truck that is absolutely covered in coronavirus like a motel's sheets are with spreadable man-goo. 

But now? Now I will think of every produce product and cut of meat as unclean. The world is going to non-halal in a hand basket and back of a semi. Sad to see. 

Not only am I gonna have to build my building skills but I'm also going to need to learn how to garden, raise cattle, chickens, and possibly pigs... I need to learn how to farm fish and shrimp in a sustainable way. Dave was right. The responsibility and burden of staying alive is simply too much for me to bear. I'll stay alive but I certainly won't be happy about it. I mean, who wants to eat ants on a log with a little dash of covid-19 sprinkled on top like Frank the Tank uses Accent on well.... everything. 

BUT, now that I read that it's a flavor enhancer... I might be all in on a little corona cabbage soup like I'm Charlie Fucking Bucket after a long day at the dick sucking factory. To hell with all that dying talk! Cheer up, Chapsy. Give me a grin. What happened to that blogger that I used to knowwwwwwww

PS. I used corn, cabbage, and cornish hens just for alliteration purposes. Those trucks could be hauling anything but they'll always be hauling ass. You betcha.