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Wake Up With Alex Jones’ Words in Chuck E. Cheese’s Mouth

It’s a testament to just how insanely creepy Alex Jones is that his rant about meat shortages and being prepared to kill his neighbor and eat his ass is somehow less creepy coming out of the mouth of a terrifying, six-foot anthropomorphic rodent robot. And he’s probably the only person on the planet about whom you can say that.

I’m still convinced either one of them would gladly eat me. Or enter my dreams through my subconscious, kill me and drag me off to the demon world. It’ll just be easier to take coming from the giant mechanized rat.