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College Professor Welcomes Freshmen, Takes Attendance...Oh, Then Shows The Class A Video Of Her Naked On Stage Peeing On People

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TelegraphUniversity drama students were stunned when their lecturer played them an X-rated video of performance theatre – showing her vagina.

Lauren Barri-Holstein screened a clip of her production Splat!, which features graphic female nudity. As part of the introductory presentation to her Theatre and its Others module at Queen Mary University of London, the actress and PhD student showed first-year students the explicit material.

The intimate performance shows her inserting a knife handle into her vagina and throwing red tomatoes at the blade, giving birth to a small, plastic Bambi figurine, and inflating a condom.

Ms Barri-Holstein, creator of theatre company The Famous, said the work – which also shows scenes in which she urinated on stage and dangled naked from a harness – is relevant to her teaching module.

A drama student, speaking to student newspaper The Tab, said: “It was surreal. I honestly didn’t know how to react. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look her in the eye in person, it’s just weird.

“It’s not even the fact we saw her lady parts, it’s the fact I literally have no idea how the clip was in any way related to this module. “It was just so extreme and I don’t understand why it was in any way necessary.”

However, another fresher said: “I understand her aim is to actively gross out the audience and challenge us, which does actually make sense.

“She’s really passionate about exposing our socially ingrained expectations, so I’m going to suspend my judgement and wait until I get to know her better as a teacher.”


Take notes all you aspiring professors and TAs out there: THIS is how you make a splash in your first class.  Got to hook ‘em right away so they don’t go back home after syllabus day and hit up Add/Drop for something better.   If you can think of a better way to do that than to show everyone a video of you naked on stage stabbing your vagina with a knife and giving birth to Bambi while hanging yourself, I’m all ears.

Seriously though can you imagine this happening to you on your first day of class?  Granted it’s a drama class so you expect things to be a little edgy and weird.  But to sit down, open up your notebooks, prepare for a lecture then watch as the professor rolls the projector screen down and clicks play on a video of her covered in blood literally pissing into a person’s mouth?  Mom, dad…can I come home now?


Here’s the video…do yourself a favor and don’t watch it.  Seriously.