Eva Mendes Had To Apologize Because She Said "Sweatpants Lead To Divorce" And Women Got Super Mad

TIME – Yesterday, Extra published an interview with professional attractive person and new mother Eva Mendes where she took umbrage toward people wearing the slouchiest of wardrobe staples: sweatpants. “No, no, no! You can’t do sweatpants,” she said. “Ladies, number one cause of divorce in America? Sweatpants! No, can’t do that.”

Now, of course, Eva Mendes was joking, and our culture of knee-jerk outrage went into a tizzy claiming that people can wear whatever they want at home alone or that sometimes busy moms just need to wear something simple.

The Internet Outrage Machine is one of my favorite things online. Not that I love what it does, basically forcing us all into a perpetual state of fear over saying something that’ll lead to a protest or firing, but just how outlandish each new outrage gets. It’s like playing a game of Bingo with whiny people’s insecurities, each more annoying and absurd than the last. And this one tops it all. Eva Mendes is universally recognized as one of the sexiest women alive, admits that despite that she still feels like she needs to put effort in, and yet even her opinions on attractiveness are “unfair” to all the doughy soccer moms out there. It’s insanity.

Do you know whom Eva Mendes is married to? Ryan Gosling, a man more responsible for dampened panties across the US than a Tampax recall, and she’s giving actual advice that works for her at the highest level of the game. It’s like if you’re shooting jumpers and LeBron walks by and tells you to straighten your back and you just go “Uh I think I’ve got this, LeBron, stop trying to force your ‘good basketball techniques’ on me, I am who I am.” You just shut up and listen and appreciate the fact that greatness has seen fit to give you a hint of wisdom. That’s how you get better and improve. So if Eva Mendes says don’t wear sweatpants because it got her Ryan Gosling, don’t fucking wear sweatpants. It blows my mind how willfully awful some people want to be at life.

Either way, my defense of Eva Mendes isn’t even necessary because clearly Ryan Gosling has got this situation well under control with a little something called the power of laughter:

(Eva Mendes photo by JStone/Shutterstock.com)