The Barstool Fund - In Support Of The 30 Day FundLearn More

Congrats On The Sex (Again): Man U Star Harry Maguire Announces Birth Of Child, 9 Months After $105 Million Transfer

There are a couple things Harry Maguire loves. He loves having a big day and immediately getting his wife pregnant because of that. His first kid came 9 months to the day after England beat Columbia in the World Cup

This time it was 9 months and 5 days after he signed a $105 million (thanks google to convert pound to dollars) contract with Manchester United. Now obviously we don't know the due date or that shit, so we're running with the 9 months and 5 days because it's a better story. So we're running with that. 

The 27-year-old joined the Red Devils for £85million on August 5 last year following a protracted summer transfer chase.

Just imagine what's going to happen if Manchester United wins the, ah nevermind, they ain't winning the EPL any time soon. All I know is fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, shame on you. It's no secret how Maguire and his fiancee Fern Hawkins like to celebrate. 

So congrats on the sex to the happy couple. The real thing here is Harry Maguire's come up. Starts his career with Sheffield United as an 18-year old. Moves to Hull City when he's 21 and helps get them promoted to the Premier League. After that heads to Leicester City for a couple of years, makes the English National Team. Not a bad life. Even nicer when you sign an 85 million pound contract when you're 26. 

I hope he listens to Podfathers, lord knows that big lovable guy Clem and Large have helped me. 

PS: Yeah, I said $105 million contract. That's the transfer. Apparently numbers are all over the place. He reportedly makes $85.6 million dollars over the 7 years. Whatever it is, you get the point, he's rich.